Finding myself

I realized today that I've changed while my husband has been gone. I was so worried about him changing while he was gone that I did not see the own change in myself. Its not a little change, but its not a bad change either. Some people may not see it, friends and family, and maybe even my own husband wont notice but I can. I can see how very different I have become. I like it, I like feeling more alive and happy and out there. I like not being so afraid or shy. I like doing different things and pushing the boundaries. In away I am kind of excited for my husband to see the new me. To see if he notices and I am also kind of worried he wont like the changes in me. 

I wish I could describe what I mean when I say I have changed. I'm more energetic, more outgoing, my anxieties I used to have are there still but not as bad and in some areas gone all together. I am doing thing I never once would do and I am putting myself first for once, not that anyone is forgotten or go without. My kids have everything they need and don't go without, but before I went over board and spoiled them and never put myself first, never budgeted for things I wanted. I am stronger now in the sense that I am getting a backbone. I'm working out. I go out allot more then I ever have. I have more friends and I laugh more. I am slowly changing my wardrobe and the way I hold myself. I have new goals and wants. Its not that I was unhappy before, I loved my husband, my kids and all that but I lost myself for awhile. 

Does any of this make sense? It does to me and I think that is all that matters. 

Happy Birthday to me!

Ive been so busy that now when I have nothing to do I am so bored and wander around aimlessly feeling all lost and alone. I like being busy, it helps, and because I have been so busy I have lots to write about, sadly I don't have much time to write about them because duh I am busy.

However I currently have time, 40 minutes to be exact before I am off to do more things that keep me busy so you get a quick post. I could write about the drama that is going on, the party/dancing that will happen this weekend to celebrate my friends 21 birthday as well as my 28Th birthday or the cute story about me, an 80 some year old man, 2 oranges and lots of females with a camera, but instead you get this:

ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

So happy birthday to me. I am 28 years old today and sadly starting to feel older than I would like.

Today started off great, well its still great. I got up to flowers from my husband which are beautiful and cards from the kids and one that my husband left behind and had me in tears (good tears) Then I got text messages and emails and ecards from family and friends all wishing me a happy birthday. Then lunch with my friend who took pictures for my husband and had them sing me happy birthday but at least I got a free cake out of it so its all good. Then shopping because every girl needs to spoil herself on her birthday right? Then I had to stop at the store for a pot luck dish (I'm lame and got chips and dip) for tonight's meeting I need to go too. Then I hung out with friends at home which leads me to right this very moment. So yeah, good day, lots of great friends and I am all smiles. The only thing that could make this day any better is a certain someone being here.

I like having a friend whose birthday is around mine because then we can do fun things to celebrate. Thursday night everyone is going out to dinner and then Friday we are doing drinks/shots here at my house and then out to hopefully dance the night away. We are checking out a ladies night but non of us have been so hopefully its not super lame and lastly Saturday we are getting tattoos.

So yeah its my birthday, and even though I still have time to elaborate on so many other things going on I wont because did you not catch the whole its my birthday theme of this blog, and on your birthday you should relax and enjoy the day, so you all will have to wait another day to hear the cute, funny and down right dumb things I have been up too.

My Sub ball experiance

So about the Submarine Birthday ball, I had a blast. It was super fun and I felt like a princess even with my hair all Shirley temple looking.

Ill start at the beginning because I have the time to write and I am bored.

I got up early, earlier then when I need to get Jordan off to school to set my friends hair in curlers, then my other friend came over so we could practice on her hair which took almost 2 hours to do. We ate lunch and relaxed for a bit before starting to get ready and I will say we so did not have enough time to get ready, basically it ended up to us scrambling around doing hair, make up and getting dressed along with getting the kids ready for the sitter and pictures taken. We were aiming to be at the ball room by 5pm and instead got there around 5:30 and already the place was packed. We found my friends husbands commands tables to sit at and mingled, got drinks and made fun of the wilted salad that was small and pathetic and gross looking and must have been sitting out for about an hour. At least dinner was much better and dessert was the nummiest. The room was pretty and full of people and very humid and stuffy and at one point I almost passed out because my corset was tight and the hot air made it really hard to breath.

After dinner we danced, drank shots and danced some more. They had set up the in and out cafe downstairs for more Ball seating and they also had another DJ down there as well so we would dance upstairs for awhile and then go downstairs where eventually we ended up for good because it was less crowded and cooler. We stayed till about 1:30AM and then walked home (which thankfully was only 10 minutes away) because none of us wanted to take the chance to try and drive home.

So yeah, I guess I did kind of sum up the night because I really could have gone into more detail but now you get the shorter version.

All you really need to know is I had fun and I cant wait to go back with my husband next year. I did miss him allot through out the night, especially when you see men all around you in their dress blues dancing with their wives but I did not let that stop me from having a great time, plus I felt like a princess all night long.

Is it sad I already have my eye on a beautiful dress for the next ball?

I promise

I promise that I will have a blog all about the fun time I had at the Submarine ball soon, but for now I am dead tired and need for some sleep because i feel like I have been going non stop for a very long time.

April 2009 Sub ball pictures

The above picture is just people dancing. No I am not in it, I just wanted to capture the moment to show people who were curious what its like at a Sub ball. 

Again Im not in this one, just taking random pictures

More dancing people.

Hey, one I am finally in. This is me(the one with the flask) My friends Racheal (the one in the strapless black dress) and Amy (the one in the silver dress) and Joni (Im so probably spelling her name wrong) who is in the black halter dress.

Us girls again. We are about to get our dance on.

Me taking a breather between songs because this was at the end of the night, I had a buzz and my feet hurt.

Amy and I at nights end goofing off and playing around with the camera.

Showing some leg for the hubby

Me being silly and Racheal looking very drunk.

Me dancing with Amy and her husband Mark

Us girls and our flasks. We were smart and brought our own drinks.

Resting again.

Amy, her husband Mark and me down stairs at the In and out cafe where they had more dancing and a bar

Racheal's husband Todd and us

Me and home before going to bed because I was being silly

This is the cake cutting ceremony after dinner (and before the dancing) where they get the longest qualified Submarine Veteran and the newest cut the cake

Amy giving me bunny ears while we are waiting for dinner.

Before the ball. Ignore the hair, I know I look like Shirley temple and it so did not turn out the way it was supposed too.

Another Leg shot

All pretty and ready for the ball.

Not such a lovely day

My life is very intresting right now, not in a good way, well mostly not in a good way, but thats a story for another time.

I am bored. I need to run errands and get some basic grocery's but instead I am stuck here waiting for a package that needs a signature and of course knowing my luck it wont be till later tonight that it shows up leaving me to either run errands much later then I wanted too or putting them off for another day. So here I sit playing the waiting game, have I ever mentioned how much I hate this game?

I'm also very, very tired. I have not been sleeping well do to stress and other things. Stress is a horrible thing, especially for me since I get really sick when I get super stressed and I am about to that point. Its stress and what is causing the stress that is making my life interesting right now in a not good way and what I would give to be able to sleep soundly and not be stressed. Right now life sucks.

Easter, This and That.

According to the ten day forecast it will soon be in the 70s here. Oh my God that is exciting, its sad when something like sun and warm weather makes you smile and giddy inside but after months of rain, snow, wind and cold I cant help but to find the idea of a change for the better something to be giddy over. Of course knowing the weather here and its constant changing forecasts for the days to come I wont hold my breath.

Anyway that is besides the point of this blog. This blog is to update on events that are going on. This weekend was Easter. It has come and gone and my daughter wants to know if we can have Easter every day. I told her no. what a mean mommy I am. The kids love Easter. I forgot about the egg dying even though I have everything for it, but the kids got to dye some eggs at a friends house so all is good and forgiven on my part. I also forgot to make the Easter cupcakes Hannah has been wanting to make with her pink frosting so that is something I will have to make soon or I will never hear the end of it. As I mentioned in my last post Saturday was spent outside doing egg hunts and getting ready for Easter. Sunday the Easter bunny came and the kids awoke to getting dressed, finding eggs hidden through out the house (which were really meant for an event I volunteered for but it was cancelled due to rain) and since I did not want the eggs going to waste we had a second egg hunt. Then they looked for their baskets because I hid them. Growing up my mom always hid mine and its just a tradition I took with me when I had kids and moved out. The kids love it and usually it ends up to be a game of hot and cold with Jordan. Hannah found hers the first place she looked, but she didn't care and spent seconds dumping things on the floor. They both loved their baskets, though sadly Hannah was more thrilled and to this moment plays more with the empty plastic eggs instead of the toys from her basket. She makes huts and homes for her Littlest pet shop animals so at least she is somewhat playing with other toys. I have however found her hiding eggs and then re-finding them herself. I asked her what she is doing and she informed me "I'm playing Easter mommy" She also has been bugging me for the candy non stop for the last two days. Jordan however is the opposite. He has yet to eat any candy really and loves the egg hunts not for what is in them but how many he could find. They also got a few other baskets from family and friends and my house is an explosion of toys, stickers and candy, oh and of course plastic eggs. Remind me to save those for next year and not throw them out like I tend to do only to have to re-buy them all over again the following year.

After all the Easter events at our house I gathered what I needed for my part of Easter dinner, called my mom to wish her, my brother and my step dad a happy Easter and we headed out into the cold, windy, rain to a friends house for Easter Dinner. She had another egg hunt, egg activities and we played board games, oh and ate very good food. 

Overall it was a good Easter weekend. It would have been better if Chris was here and he was missed allot, but its just part of the job and life as a Navy wife. I did get pictures though our brand new camera was acting up so they came out a bit fuzzy, something I need to look into before Sub ball.

Speaking of Sub ball I got my dress today. Its very pretty. I was all worried it would not fit but it does thank goodness, however as I was putting it back in the bag I noticed pen on my dress and when they tried to get it out with something they swore would work and not stain it did one but not the other. The pen is gone but there is a water mark in the material. So I'm left to wonder what to do. I was hoping it would dry, but its clear the mark is there to stay. I mean its not really noticeable unless your looking for it and its on the back of the dress, but still when you pay that much for a dress, then alterations you expect them to be more careful and not stain the dress not once, but twice. So we will see. Ill try not to be Anal and not think about it. It is still very pretty (like very, very pretty) If I could Id wear it everywhere, though I might get strange looks if I did that. I also exchanged my tiara for the one I fell in love with awhile back. I know, shame on me, but to be fair I only spent 5 dollars more for the one I really wanted. Now its just counting down the days till Sub ball.

I did realize a few things though about the upcoming sub ball. One I am wearing curlers to get my hair, well curly (the whole point of curlers right?) and I will have to wear them to get my nails done, which is in the mall. So shy little me will have to walk through the mall with my head covered in curlers looking like an idiot, the price we pay for beauty huh? The Second thing is I wont have a husband to hold my money, ID and so on, so I am going to have to hope that no one steals my purse because I do need my ID or else I'm kind of screwed. When you live on a Military base and need to get on and off it you need your Military ID. 

So that's my weekend (and Monday) Tomorrow I am shopping but have to be careful on what I buy because overspending would be bad since somehow I am behind on my cable bill according to a message on my machine and yet I have not seen a bill so I need to get that paid up or else I might find myself without cable, phone and Internet for a few days which to me would be a bad thing to happen. I can live without the phone (I have my cell) and even the TV but I need my Internet because I am sad like that. Its sad because last time I was at the mall they had tons of cute things I wanted to buy so here is hoping to some restraint.

I'm currently listening to my Mama Mia! soundtrack and trying my hardest to avoid the call of the peanut butter cups that are sitting on the kitchen counter, maybe now would be a good time to either do some sit ups or go to bed. 

Adults acting like kids

Its sad when you see the adults acting worse then the kids at a kid friendly event.

Today on base they had a kids Easter egg hunt where they put out a ton of eggs in fields for the kids to find. They break the events down by age. 0-2 year olds go first, then 2-3 and 4-5. then 5-6 and 7-8 and finally 9-12. They surround the fields with white tape making a square so the kids stand on the line and they are told how many eggs they can grab and it is repeated over and over by the volunteers if you have more then allowed please put them back so other kids can grab them and have the same amount. Round one was the youngest kids (0-2) and this is the only age group where kids can have help from a parent. So my friend goes out with her daughter while I wait with the other kids (they time them so the age groups don't overlap) and she came back with 5 eggs. There should have been enough for each child to get 20 eggs in this age group. She explained to me that parents where grabbing handfuls of eggs like it was a race and did not care that they had 30 or more eggs while other kids had 3, 4 or 5 because of all these parents. The sad thing is I saw the parents push and knock over other peoples kids to get the eggs and they totally forgot about their own little kids while the egg hung was going on. Its sad that people, especially a parent can be so rude and act so horribly and not realize that because they want to take all the eggs other little kids are going without. Not like it really mattered because my friend later pointed out that most of the candy in the eggs were jolly ranchers, gum and now and later for that age group. Seriously what kid at that age can eat candy like that? and what were the people thinking who decided what candy should be given out in the eggs to that age group.

Hannah did well. She understood what she had to do and went and got eggs without grabbing or pushing or running. It seemed better when parents were not allowed though I saw several kids grab out of other peoples buckets. Hannah did grab more then the allotted amount but I made her give those eggs to a child who was to afraid to go alone and there for had none so her and my daughter walked away with 15 eggs each (that was the allotted number of eggs each child could take) I did see kids who still took way more then allowed, or parents who would let their kids do more then one egg hunt and by the fourth egg hunt it was clear that even the volunteers realized the foul play and kept a better eye on what people were doing and trying to keep it more fair. I was worried once we got to Jordans age group which was the oldest that this would be the one where the kids would shove and push and steal but it probably was the best behaved one. Jordan was smart and while all the kids ran to the middle to grab eggs he grabbed the eggs nearest us. He also counted out what he could have and when he was done he came back to riffle through his loot.

Overall it was a good day, the kids had a blast and the rain held off and it was sunny out. Its hard to believe tomorrow is Easter. We still have to dye our eggs. Tomorrow we have our own egg hunt and both my kids get 3 baskets (from us, and from each set of Grandparents) then its off to a friends house for dinner and another egg hunt. We are a busy family this week and I so could use a nap but instead I am off to clean.

I hope everyone has a very happy Easter Sunday.

Just another crappy day

There is only one good thing about today. It was sunny and warm and I got to wear a tank top and sit in the sun while my kids played outside. I also gave Gracie a bath too and let her sit in the sun and dry off.

Now for the rest of the sucky day.

People are pissing me off. Rude, mean, asshole of people. I wanted to full out punch someone today but I did not because that is not who I am plus Hannah was with me and that would not be a good example for her.

I ran to the store and the person and the store refused to price match though I know they do it because they did it last week and he was such a jerk about it too. I mean really could you not be nicer to customers? (and no I was not having an attitude with him though he was a jerk even before I set my stuff on the counter and I only got defensive when I tried to explain all the times they priced matched stuff even as early as last week) and he was all "well I don't know where you have been shopping but we have never done that and if you dont like our policy then you can go shop elsewhere" So I walked away leaving all my stuff on the counter to pissed to care about buying it nor having this jerk ring me up. Of course when I got home I realized I needed a few of those things like now so I will have to go back out (to a different store) and get what I need.

Then I get home to make Enchiladas for dinner only to realize I am missing an ingredient and my kids were already starving at this point so I had to make Spaghetti instead since I had the stuff to complete the meal and did not want my Hamburger going to waste. Its not what I have been craving all day but it works, though the damn jar or Spaghetti sauce wanted to not unscrew and I sat there for 10 minutes (well it felt like ten minutes) cursing the jar and banging it on the counter.

And to top it all off I am still sick. Its just the worlds worst cold but it does not make for a very happy me, or a very productive me. I have a few piles of laundry to do and a house to sweep and dust with no desire to do anything else but vent, and then curl up on the couch with some cold medicine and sleep or at least watch some TV. I am so pathetic, I know but hey I can admit that I am a witch when I am sick and a bigger witch when people piss me off with their rudeness.

Lets pray tomorrow is better.

(oh and I called the store and asked for a manager and she said they do indeed price match)

Not meeting expectations

So after all that excitement about April finally being here I am sad to say that so far it has sucked. It rained with a snow mix and was cold and windy on the 1st and then I came down with a wicked cold that made my head feel like it was going to explode and my throat feel like sandpaper and gave me much pain. I really hope things get off to a better start. 

I guess I should be more fair to April seeing as there were a few good moments in the 2 days that have made up the month. Like the free showing of Inkheart at the base theater that I took the kids too. It was 6 dollars for two sodas and a large popcorn and though the seating set up was horrible it was a free movie with cheap food and sure beat the $40 some dollars for the kids and I to see Monsters Vs. Aliens so I'm not complaining, plus it was nice to just get out and the kids enjoyed it. Also I got to be the target of many April fools jokes Hannah and Jordan tried to play on me. It was very cute how hard they tried. Hannah didn't really get the whole April fools day thing but with Jordan's help she was able to point out the non existent spider on my hear while I pretended to be freaked out so she would think she got me and fall to the floor in a fit of laughter. Jordan's jokes were better and I even feel for the whole "mom your shoe is untied" where I look and I am wearing slip on's with no ties. Its moments like these I wish My husband was here or at the very least I could call him and tell him all the cute, funny, sweet things our kids are doing.

As for now, well I am still sick and in pain and I still feel like my head might explode. I spent the day in bed instead of running the many errands I had to run like spending money at Costco and eating lunch at one of my favorite restaurants and taking the kids to another free movie at the base theater. So instead my day was boring, filled with sleeping, looking around for hairstyles and color ideas for my salon visit next month, and watching movies lounged on the couch with the kids (it was raining out, what a surprise) I am really, really hopping to start feeling better soon. It sucks because I am like a child who wants her teddy bear when she is sick but my teddy bear is at sea. I guess I will have to settle for some Ice cream and cold medicine to help me feel better.