So true

A friend of mine sent these two things to me about military life/ being a submariners wife and I wanted to post them here and add my 2 cents worth to them. 

You know your a Navy wife when...

1) You can unpack a house and have everything in place 48 hours after your belongings are delivered. ( It usually takes me a bit longer than 48 hours because of the kids, but its pretty damn close)

2) Your husband's work and dress clothes cost more than yours do. (yeah, they do. Once you add in the cost of patches and medals and ribbons and all that great stuff)

3) You've changed more oil and mowed more lawns than your husband because he's never there to do it himself. (Actually I bring the vehicles in to have the oil changed, but I do the lawn work more than he ever has)

4) You only write in pencil because EVERYTHING is subject to change (Yeah, like the time we bought a house in Georgia because we were supposed to be there for another 4 years and year  later were moving across country)

5) You have a larger selection of curtains than Wal-Mart does (Yep, I do. Every housing unit we have lived in has different sized windows or more/less windows, because of that your curtain collection grows)

6) You can remember where you kept the Scotch tape in your last house, but unfortunately, not in this one.....you mark time in duty stations, not years.... (I still get in the car and try to drive a route I drove in Georgia, which as you could have guessed does not work out so well when you are across country or will suggest us go grab something to eat at a restaurant they don't have here in WA but we ate at all the time in GA)

7) You know that "back home" doesn't mean at the house you live in now..... (When I say back home I mean Minnesota)

8) You ALWAYS know when payday is and get ticked off if there are more than 2 weekends during that pay period (We get paid on the 1st and 15Th of every month)

9) You know better than to go to the NEX or commissary on payday unless its a life or death situation (I go to a grocery store out in town because on payday those two places (and Costco even though that's off base) are zoos. 

10) You know to respect his detailer... no matter how much you secretly hate him (Yeah, because this is the person who decides where you will end up living/moving too)

11) You can't remember the last time you saw a doctor who wasn't wearing khaki. (In Georgia we had a choice, here we don't)

12) It only cost you $25 to have a child. ( I don't remember it even costing me that, but who knows, I was a new mom and already had crazy hectic stress going on)

13) You pick apart uniforms on TV and in the movies, even though you used to yell at your husband for doing the same thing. (Oh how true this is)

14) You've learned to sleep through the sounds of planes, helicopters, foghorns and jets..... (lets not forget the morning PT when you can hear them singing while they run threw housing, I actually like waking up to that one)

15) You can hate military life but be terrified to leave it all in the same breath! (I'm already freaking out and we still have 12 years before Chris retires)

You know you're a submariner's wife if....

1. You use the words poopie suit, duty, head, and cover in a non perverse way on a daily basis (Even my kids know what these words mean, and Hannah is only 4)

2. You lost count of the number of times you've been on board "The world's most powerful warship" (I remember the first time I went into a submarine. I was wearing a skirt and had to climb down (and then back up) a ladder. I remember Jordan's face of awe and eating diner on board which Jordan to this day can tell you what we had which was pizza and brownies) 

3. You know what time the mid watch is.

4. Youve stayed awake during the mid watch to talk to your husband on the phone. (I will wake up at any hour to talk to my husband regardless of how tired I am)

5. You've eaten on the mess deck and wonder how they can screw up a salad. (Chris has told me horror stories of the things they have screwed up and its so very sad)

6. You've super glued, ironed on, or velcroed a patch onto a uniform. (or conned the local seamstress to get it right by tomorrow and she gets double the price) (I am all about the second option or be the mean wife and make my husband do it because I am afraid of screwing it up)

7. You've lived in any or all of the following cities; Kingsland, GA, Groton, CT, Bangor, WA, San Diego, CA, Norfolk, VA, Pearl Harbor, HI. (We lived in Kingsland, GA for 5 years and are in Bangor, WA currently with a stop over in Groton, CT between the way)

8. You think day after duty is a special holiday. (Duty is when they have to spend the night on board, usually the day after duty they come home after turn over in the morning or early afternoon, I've never been that lucky and see my husband generally around dinner time the next night)

9. You know the difference between a mini day, liberty after field day and fast cruise is.

10. You're husband has ever uttered the words "I'm not at liberty to say" (you have no idea how often I hear this)

11. You can pack a sea bag in under 10 minutes. (I can, but my husband can pack it much better...you would be amazed what you can fit into those things)

12. You know what a TLD, LES, and TVQ are, but you don't know what the letters stand for. (I can happily say I do know what the letters stand for)

13. You've stood on the beach despite snow, rain, or sand gnats to watch the boat pull in. (The second time I saw a boat pull in I was standing on the beach with friends to suddenly be drenched with a down pour of rain and fierce wind that blew sand at us and oh how it hurt. You could not see a hand reached out in front of you much less the river. I also stood in freezing rain 6 months pregnant on the pier and bitter cold weather that made you think you were going to freeze to death and yet I would brave any element for the thrill of seeing that boat pull in)

14. Anything less than 30 days doesn't really count as a patrol. (30 days Is a breeze)

15. The other crew always get the better deal. (Chris is on a one boat crew, so sadly there is no second crew which trust me is nice to have because it means there is a time your husband is not responsible for the boat because the other crew is and you can spend weekends with him and every weeknight when the other crew is in charge of the boat)

16. You know at least 10 guys you would consider friends of the family and yet you still don't know their first name. (I even call my friends husbands by their last names even though I know their first names)

17. You send emails religiously to a system you know is broken. (I so do this)

18. You expect an email everyday from a system you know is broken. (You learn to deal with disappointment fast in this lifestyle, though I now know to not expect an email so if I do get one its a surprise and if I don't its not that big of a deal)

19. You've spent more months of your marriage apart than you have together. (I actually sat down and figured this out, and we have indeed spent more time apart than together)

20. You've actually grown to like sleeping alone. (I hate it when he is gone and would rather him be in my bed but those first few days he is back I cant sleep because he tosses and turns and it takes time getting used to having him there)

21. You use a phone tree. (oh how I love the words "you have a phone tree message"

22. You have your ombudsman's number programed into your phone because something might happen and she is your only contact that can successfully reach the captain. (I learned the hard way when I needed to get ahold of her and did not have her number on hand, now its in my cell phone)

23. You know what "boat smell" is. (I hate the smell before he leaves but love it when he gets back)

24. You know what month it changes from dress whites to dress blues and back again. (I love him in his dress blues)

25. You give him a kiss and a smile when you drop him off at the turn styles and then cry the rest of the way home. (I save the crying till the kids are in bed because you have to be strong for them)

26. You know what it means when your child says “daddy has duty ..again?? and proceed to take all their frustrations out on you” 

27.You know the difference between 3 section and 4 section duty. (oh and how this simple thing seems to make such a difference)

28. You’re strong enough to say ‘No honey, go out in port , enjoy yourself, you deserve it" and patiently wait thru the 20 hour difference in time zones to tell him your child puked all over you during the 10 hr wait in the naval hospital emergency room. (my kids always get sick when he is standing duty or out to sea or on travel)

29. You can honestly accept phone calls, snail mail and web-cams are purely a surface fleet luxury.

30. You have told a creditor “No really, I don’t have power of attorney because he had to work every day until O dark 30 for 6 weeks prior to this deployment but if you want your money you better tell me what the problem is “ (I am so far lucky to not have had to deal with situation, though I have seen many wives go through this.

31.You look at your cat or dog as a “Partner in life” (Gracie is my hugging post and movie night cuddler when my husband is gone)

32. You’ve listened to a surface fleet wife say “it’s been 2 days and I haven’t heard anything from him” and you wanted to punch her. (I have many friends who have surface fleet husbands and never have I wanted to punch them for a comment like this, though I do get annoyed sometimes)

33. You have asked the toilet “Why do you do this every time he leaves”and the air conditioner, the garage door opener, and the dryer......etc.  (Just yesterday I went to open the silverware drawer and the whole front panel came off. It never fails everything goes to crap when the husband is gone)

34. You’ve told your boss after the school calls “You just don’t get it….I’m a single parent regardless of the fact I am wearing a wedding band and the DNA tests proved it is his baby too”

35. You have told your child’s therapist “ You’re kidding, who would have thought ?“ after a diagnosis of separation anxiety and lack of communication. (Hannah has really bad separation anxiety when daddy leaves and it breaks my heart)

36. You check your email every 10 minutes by hitting the send and receive button convincing yourself it has to be the server. (I check my email almost every hour in hopes for that one email that will make my day/week/month. You get the point)

37.You continue to miss and love the absent best friend and husband you know that endures the bare minimum of life’s luxuries to keep his family and this country safe. (The hardest part about deployments is not how much I miss him its knowing that he comes back and the kids have grown and have changed and he missed all of that. He missed plays and choir concerts and dance recitals and birthday parties. He misses a lose tooth or a cute song or a new girlfriend. I cant even begin to imagine what it must be like for him and how hard it must be to miss all of that and feel like your kids are growing up without you really being there and missing it all and yet he does this job for us and I am ever so proud of him)

38. You have accepted the fact that no one will ever understand the loneliness, pain and suffering your heart endures no matter how much they say “ I can imagine what it must feel like”

39. Your husband keeps a watch that counts down his time until shore duty/EOS to the second.

(June 2011 cant come soon enough because that is when we go to shore duty)

40. You spend a majority of the time answering “ I don’t know” to the following questions “when will he be home” Will you make it for the wedding” Can we book the hotel rooms for you now? ”Will you be here for the family reunion” “Will you make it to see us this year”??

(This is very true when it comes to my husbands family)

41. You know the homecoming in a submariner’s life is the one thing that makes it justified. 

(The day you look forward to from the very beginning. The day that you spend hours primping and getting all dolled up and the kids all looking cute with butterflies in your stomach. To see your husband and the smiles that fill his face and the kids face. The running into each other's arms and the honeymoon feeling all over again)

42. You spend crazy money on first kiss tickets in hopes you might be the lucky winner and get your husband off the boat first. (I won once. It was when we also got to have a pier homecoming. Chris was the very first one off that sub and all eyes were on us and I got to run forward and hug and kiss my husband and than he got to leave right away (usually they have to finish up work first and its a few to several hours before they can go home)