April has come at last

Its April, which is one of my favorite months. The reasons why, well it usually starts to get nicer out. This will only be my second April here in Washington but it seems the weather gets warmer and it does not rain as much which is always a nice rain from what has been a near constant drizzle. Its also the month that holds my birthday which means I get another year older, though I can sadly say I am not dreading birthdays and aging instead of looking forward to them. 

For this month we have spring break for the kids where I try to keep them entertained. Trips to the zoo maybe, the movies, swimming, walks, the park. Its also the month of the Submarine Birthday Ball and this will be the first year I will be going. Easter also falls this year in April. I love Easter because I like dying the eggs and hiding Easter eggs for the kids to find and creating baskets and dressing up in spring outfits. It will be different this year not having daddy around for the kids, this is the one holiday I don't think he has missed and if he has its only been once or twice. 

April is just a great month. I can start finding pretty flowers at the grocery store to fill my kitchen with and we don't feel so trapped in the house and are able to go outside more and open the windows when they days are nice. I love having the windows open. 

So Happy April Everyone!

A risk I am willing to take

OK, so if I tell you something you have to promise to not laugh at me, or make fun of me or go crazy on yelling at me for what you might consider stupid.

I have thought about this for awhile, years in fact. My husband is against it, though I am not sure why since I think most men would not mind. See I want to get a boob job. I hate being small and tops not fitting like they should because I have nothing to fill them out. Its depressing and I have had lots of friends who now have had it done and what can I say I am jealous but no that is not the reason I want to get them done, I want to do it for me. I want to look in the mirror and feel better about myself and the way I look. I know that may sound shallow and such but its what I want.

As I said my husband is against it. I always tease that when he is out to sea I will just go and have it done, I wouldn't however go threw with it because I want his there if I do. See I have this problem with bleeding, I tend to bleed allot in surgery or when I have babies and this can be a problem and my husbands fear is there will be a complication and either I will bleed to death or my body will reject the foreign objects that now make up my boobs basically.

I will give you an example of how badly I want this done. I hate having surgery, I hate being put under. It gives me huge anxiety and I always fear I wont wake up, and yet I am willing to go through all this and the pain and recovery that comes with the operation. 

I know the risks, I do. Like I said its something I have been wanting and debating and researching for some time, now however I am ready to take it to the next step and actually (maybe) consult someone or a few someones. I need to look up good surgeons in the area and talk to them about my concerns, get price quotes and so on so I am better prepared. I also need to see about what insurance covers. I know that the surgery itself is on me, but I'm talking about if there are complications. If I start to bleed and need to be hospitalized or my body rejects them later on will my insurance cover breast implant related problems. I know some insurances do and others don't. 

I think once I take the next step I might be better prepared to make a decision about what I want to do and then I can either start to save money or disregard the idea all together, and of course there is the obstacle of my husband. If he is highly against this I wont do it, but I would like him if I do decide to do this to get on board with me and be supportive as I know he will be a key player in my recovery time. 

As I said you can think I am shallow or dumb, but its what I want and I had to get my feelings out there because sometimes it just helps to write things down, and no, I wont be going really big just more natural looking and normal because right now anything above an A cup would be great.

Cinderella

Ha. After much looking on the web for the dress I purchased for the sub ball I finally found it, granted its not in this color but a really pretty Sage color but other than that this is my dress. Pretty huh? Now lets hope the seamstress who is on vacation can get it done in time. She has a week from after she gets back to get it ready and if its not ready I am screwed.

I have a light gold bag and heels that match and pearl earring and I think I might buy the matching necklace and I do have a sparkly pearl headband that I may or may not wear after a friend told me I look like a child wearing it, and I already look young as it is.

Can you tell I am excited? I feel like Cinderella in this dress. The only thing that will be missing that night is my prince.

Things I should be doing

I have been meaning to sit down for some time now and monkey with my blog. Make it pretty and nice and all that, but sadly I never get to it. Its just like how I keep meaning to organize my make up drawers or finish the photo book online that was supposed to be for my husbands last patrol. These things just are there waiting to be given some time and yet I don't get around to it. I blame the fact I have no attention span lately, maybe I never had one but the point is I get fidgety or something comes up. One day though I will do it, today however is not that day.

I watched Australia tonight and bawled like a baby. My Daughter noticed and asked me "mommy what's wrong" I informed her mommy was sad but OK and she gave me a hug and a big smile and said "don't be sad mommy, I love you" I gave her a smile and thanked her. When my husband is gone and I watch a movie that has any type of romance in it that is not a romantic comedy (and sometimes even when it is) I cry. 

My weekend is slow. I was hoping it be more eventful but really its been lazy. Did I mention we and a friend and her kids went to the movies last night? yeah, well we did and now I remember why I don't go to movies unless I am paying $3 or less at the base theater because just for the kids and me with food and tickets it was $40. That's the price of buying a movie at the store and ordering a Costco pizza. I wish I could say my weekend would get more exciting but I highly doubt that. More cleaning and laundry and hanging with the kids. Spring break is upon us, 5 days of both kids being home when I am used to one, which can I say is kind of scary since my kids love to annoy the other and with one being out of school I can say that their annoying one another will eventually annoy me. Sadly I know their love of bugging each other will only grow and get worse as they get older. Isn't that part of sibling love?

I am off to finish my book and try to not be so damn bored though what I really should do is get some sleep since it is 1 in the morning.

How to simulate being a sailor

HOW TO SIMULATE BEING A SAILOR:

1. Buy a steel dumpster, paint it gray inside and out, and live in it for
six months.

2. Run all the pipes and wires in your house exposed on the walls.

3. Repaint your entire house every month.

4. Renovate your bathroom. Build a wall across the middle of the bathtub
and move the shower head to chest level. When you take showers, make sure
you turn off the water while you soap down.

5. Put lube oil in your humidifier and set it on high.

6. Once a week, blow compressed air up your chimney, making sure the wind
carries the soot onto your neighbor's house.
Ignore his complaints.

7. Once a month, take all major appliances apart and then reassemble them.

8. Raise the thresholds and lower the headers of your front and back doors,
so that you either trip or bang your head every time you pass through them.

9. Disassemble and inspect your lawnmower every week.

10. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, turn your water heater temperature
up to 200 degrees. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, turn the water heater off.
On Saturdays and Sundays tell your family they use too much water during the
week, so no bathing will be allowed.

11. Raise your bed to within 6 inches of the ceiling, so you can't turn
over without getting out and then getting back in.

12. Sleep on the shelf in your closet. Replace the closet door with a
curtain. Have your spouse whip open the curtain about 3 hours after you go
to sleep, shine a flashlight in your eyes, and say "Sorry, wrong rack."

13. Make your family qualify to operate each appliance in your house:
dishwasher operator, blender technician, etc.

14. Have your neighbor come over each day at 5 am, blow a whistle so loud
Helen Keller could hear it, and shout "Reveille, reveille, all hands heave
out and trice up."

15. Have your mother-in-law write down everything she's going to do the
following day, then have her make you stand in your back yard at 6 am while
she reads it to you.

16. Submit a request chit to your father-in-law requesting permission to
leave your house before 3 PM.

17. Empty all the garbage bins in your house and sweep the driveway three
times a day, whether it needs it or not. (Now sweepers, sweepers, man your
brooms, give the ship a clean sweep down fore and aft, empty all trashcans
over the fantail.)

18. Have your neighbor collect all your mail for a month, read your
magazines, and randomly lose every 5th item before delivering it to you.

19. Watch no TV except for movies played in the middle of the night.
Have your family vote on which movie to watch, then show a different one.

20. When your children are in bed, run into their room with a megaphone
shouting that your home is under attack and ordering them to their battle
stations. (Now general quarters, general quarters, all hands man your
battle stations.)

21. Make your family menu a week ahead of time without consulting the
pantry or refrigerator.

22. Post a menu on the kitchen door informing your family that they are
having steak for dinner. Then make them wait in line for an hour. When
they finally get to the kitchen, tell them you are out of steak, but they
can have dried ham or hot dogs. Repeat daily until they ignore the menu and
just ask for hot dogs.

23. Bake a cake. Prop up one side of the pan so the cake bakes unevenly.
Spread icing real thick to level it off.

24. Get up every night around midnight and have a peanut butter and jelly
sandwich on stale bread. (midrats)

25. Set your alarm clock to go off at random during the night. At the
alarm, jump up and dress as fast as you can, making sure to button your top
shirt button and tuck your pants into your socks. Run out into the backyard
and uncoil the garden hose.

26. Every week or so, throw your cat or dog in the pool and shout "Man
overboard port side!" Rate your family members on how fast they respond.

27. Put the headphones from your stereo on your head, but don't plug them
in. Hang a paper cup around your neck on a string. Stand in front of the
stove, and speak into the paper cup "Stove manned and ready."
After an hour or so, speak into the cup again 'Stove secured." Roll up the
headphones and paper cup and stow them in a shoebox.

28. Place a podium at the end of your driveway. Have your family stand
watches at the podium, rotating at 4 hour intervals. This is best done when
the weather is worst. January is a good time.

29. When there is a thunderstorm in your area, get a wobbly rocking chair,
sit in it and rock as hard as you can until you become nauseous.
Make sure to have a supply of stale crackers in your shirt pocket.

30. For former engineers: bring your lawn mower into the living room, and
run it all day long.

31. Make coffee using eighteen scoops of budget priced coffee grounds per
pot, and allow the pot to simmer for 5 hours before drinking.

32. Have someone under the age of ten give you a haircut with sheep shears.

33. Sew the back pockets of your jeans on the front.

34. Every couple of weeks, dress up in your best clothes and go to the
scummiest part of town. Find the most run down, trashiest bar, and drink
beer until you are hammered. Then walk all the way home.

35. Lock yourself and your family in the house for six weeks. Tell them
that at the end of the 6th week you are going to take them to Disney World
for "liberty." At the end of the 6th week, inform them the trip to Disney
World has been canceled because they need to get ready for an inspection,
and it will be another week before they can leave the house.

So true

A friend of mine sent these two things to me about military life/ being a submariners wife and I wanted to post them here and add my 2 cents worth to them. 

You know your a Navy wife when...

1) You can unpack a house and have everything in place 48 hours after your belongings are delivered. ( It usually takes me a bit longer than 48 hours because of the kids, but its pretty damn close)

2) Your husband's work and dress clothes cost more than yours do. (yeah, they do. Once you add in the cost of patches and medals and ribbons and all that great stuff)

3) You've changed more oil and mowed more lawns than your husband because he's never there to do it himself. (Actually I bring the vehicles in to have the oil changed, but I do the lawn work more than he ever has)

4) You only write in pencil because EVERYTHING is subject to change (Yeah, like the time we bought a house in Georgia because we were supposed to be there for another 4 years and year  later were moving across country)

5) You have a larger selection of curtains than Wal-Mart does (Yep, I do. Every housing unit we have lived in has different sized windows or more/less windows, because of that your curtain collection grows)

6) You can remember where you kept the Scotch tape in your last house, but unfortunately, not in this one.....you mark time in duty stations, not years.... (I still get in the car and try to drive a route I drove in Georgia, which as you could have guessed does not work out so well when you are across country or will suggest us go grab something to eat at a restaurant they don't have here in WA but we ate at all the time in GA)

7) You know that "back home" doesn't mean at the house you live in now..... (When I say back home I mean Minnesota)

8) You ALWAYS know when payday is and get ticked off if there are more than 2 weekends during that pay period (We get paid on the 1st and 15Th of every month)

9) You know better than to go to the NEX or commissary on payday unless its a life or death situation (I go to a grocery store out in town because on payday those two places (and Costco even though that's off base) are zoos. 

10) You know to respect his detailer... no matter how much you secretly hate him (Yeah, because this is the person who decides where you will end up living/moving too)

11) You can't remember the last time you saw a doctor who wasn't wearing khaki. (In Georgia we had a choice, here we don't)

12) It only cost you $25 to have a child. ( I don't remember it even costing me that, but who knows, I was a new mom and already had crazy hectic stress going on)

13) You pick apart uniforms on TV and in the movies, even though you used to yell at your husband for doing the same thing. (Oh how true this is)

14) You've learned to sleep through the sounds of planes, helicopters, foghorns and jets..... (lets not forget the morning PT when you can hear them singing while they run threw housing, I actually like waking up to that one)

15) You can hate military life but be terrified to leave it all in the same breath! (I'm already freaking out and we still have 12 years before Chris retires)

You know you're a submariner's wife if....

1. You use the words poopie suit, duty, head, and cover in a non perverse way on a daily basis (Even my kids know what these words mean, and Hannah is only 4)

2. You lost count of the number of times you've been on board "The world's most powerful warship" (I remember the first time I went into a submarine. I was wearing a skirt and had to climb down (and then back up) a ladder. I remember Jordan's face of awe and eating diner on board which Jordan to this day can tell you what we had which was pizza and brownies) 

3. You know what time the mid watch is.

4. Youve stayed awake during the mid watch to talk to your husband on the phone. (I will wake up at any hour to talk to my husband regardless of how tired I am)

5. You've eaten on the mess deck and wonder how they can screw up a salad. (Chris has told me horror stories of the things they have screwed up and its so very sad)

6. You've super glued, ironed on, or velcroed a patch onto a uniform. (or conned the local seamstress to get it right by tomorrow and she gets double the price) (I am all about the second option or be the mean wife and make my husband do it because I am afraid of screwing it up)

7. You've lived in any or all of the following cities; Kingsland, GA, Groton, CT, Bangor, WA, San Diego, CA, Norfolk, VA, Pearl Harbor, HI. (We lived in Kingsland, GA for 5 years and are in Bangor, WA currently with a stop over in Groton, CT between the way)

8. You think day after duty is a special holiday. (Duty is when they have to spend the night on board, usually the day after duty they come home after turn over in the morning or early afternoon, I've never been that lucky and see my husband generally around dinner time the next night)

9. You know the difference between a mini day, liberty after field day and fast cruise is.

10. You're husband has ever uttered the words "I'm not at liberty to say" (you have no idea how often I hear this)

11. You can pack a sea bag in under 10 minutes. (I can, but my husband can pack it much better...you would be amazed what you can fit into those things)

12. You know what a TLD, LES, and TVQ are, but you don't know what the letters stand for. (I can happily say I do know what the letters stand for)

13. You've stood on the beach despite snow, rain, or sand gnats to watch the boat pull in. (The second time I saw a boat pull in I was standing on the beach with friends to suddenly be drenched with a down pour of rain and fierce wind that blew sand at us and oh how it hurt. You could not see a hand reached out in front of you much less the river. I also stood in freezing rain 6 months pregnant on the pier and bitter cold weather that made you think you were going to freeze to death and yet I would brave any element for the thrill of seeing that boat pull in)

14. Anything less than 30 days doesn't really count as a patrol. (30 days Is a breeze)

15. The other crew always get the better deal. (Chris is on a one boat crew, so sadly there is no second crew which trust me is nice to have because it means there is a time your husband is not responsible for the boat because the other crew is and you can spend weekends with him and every weeknight when the other crew is in charge of the boat)

16. You know at least 10 guys you would consider friends of the family and yet you still don't know their first name. (I even call my friends husbands by their last names even though I know their first names)

17. You send emails religiously to a system you know is broken. (I so do this)

18. You expect an email everyday from a system you know is broken. (You learn to deal with disappointment fast in this lifestyle, though I now know to not expect an email so if I do get one its a surprise and if I don't its not that big of a deal)

19. You've spent more months of your marriage apart than you have together. (I actually sat down and figured this out, and we have indeed spent more time apart than together)

20. You've actually grown to like sleeping alone. (I hate it when he is gone and would rather him be in my bed but those first few days he is back I cant sleep because he tosses and turns and it takes time getting used to having him there)

21. You use a phone tree. (oh how I love the words "you have a phone tree message"

22. You have your ombudsman's number programed into your phone because something might happen and she is your only contact that can successfully reach the captain. (I learned the hard way when I needed to get ahold of her and did not have her number on hand, now its in my cell phone)

23. You know what "boat smell" is. (I hate the smell before he leaves but love it when he gets back)

24. You know what month it changes from dress whites to dress blues and back again. (I love him in his dress blues)

25. You give him a kiss and a smile when you drop him off at the turn styles and then cry the rest of the way home. (I save the crying till the kids are in bed because you have to be strong for them)

26. You know what it means when your child says “daddy has duty ..again?? and proceed to take all their frustrations out on you” 

27.You know the difference between 3 section and 4 section duty. (oh and how this simple thing seems to make such a difference)

28. You’re strong enough to say ‘No honey, go out in port , enjoy yourself, you deserve it" and patiently wait thru the 20 hour difference in time zones to tell him your child puked all over you during the 10 hr wait in the naval hospital emergency room. (my kids always get sick when he is standing duty or out to sea or on travel)

29. You can honestly accept phone calls, snail mail and web-cams are purely a surface fleet luxury.

30. You have told a creditor “No really, I don’t have power of attorney because he had to work every day until O dark 30 for 6 weeks prior to this deployment but if you want your money you better tell me what the problem is “ (I am so far lucky to not have had to deal with situation, though I have seen many wives go through this.

31.You look at your cat or dog as a “Partner in life” (Gracie is my hugging post and movie night cuddler when my husband is gone)

32. You’ve listened to a surface fleet wife say “it’s been 2 days and I haven’t heard anything from him” and you wanted to punch her. (I have many friends who have surface fleet husbands and never have I wanted to punch them for a comment like this, though I do get annoyed sometimes)

33. You have asked the toilet “Why do you do this every time he leaves”and the air conditioner, the garage door opener, and the dryer......etc.  (Just yesterday I went to open the silverware drawer and the whole front panel came off. It never fails everything goes to crap when the husband is gone)

34. You’ve told your boss after the school calls “You just don’t get it….I’m a single parent regardless of the fact I am wearing a wedding band and the DNA tests proved it is his baby too”

35. You have told your child’s therapist “ You’re kidding, who would have thought ?“ after a diagnosis of separation anxiety and lack of communication. (Hannah has really bad separation anxiety when daddy leaves and it breaks my heart)

36. You check your email every 10 minutes by hitting the send and receive button convincing yourself it has to be the server. (I check my email almost every hour in hopes for that one email that will make my day/week/month. You get the point)

37.You continue to miss and love the absent best friend and husband you know that endures the bare minimum of life’s luxuries to keep his family and this country safe. (The hardest part about deployments is not how much I miss him its knowing that he comes back and the kids have grown and have changed and he missed all of that. He missed plays and choir concerts and dance recitals and birthday parties. He misses a lose tooth or a cute song or a new girlfriend. I cant even begin to imagine what it must be like for him and how hard it must be to miss all of that and feel like your kids are growing up without you really being there and missing it all and yet he does this job for us and I am ever so proud of him)

38. You have accepted the fact that no one will ever understand the loneliness, pain and suffering your heart endures no matter how much they say “ I can imagine what it must feel like”

39. Your husband keeps a watch that counts down his time until shore duty/EOS to the second.

(June 2011 cant come soon enough because that is when we go to shore duty)

40. You spend a majority of the time answering “ I don’t know” to the following questions “when will he be home” Will you make it for the wedding” Can we book the hotel rooms for you now? ”Will you be here for the family reunion” “Will you make it to see us this year”??

(This is very true when it comes to my husbands family)

41. You know the homecoming in a submariner’s life is the one thing that makes it justified. 

(The day you look forward to from the very beginning. The day that you spend hours primping and getting all dolled up and the kids all looking cute with butterflies in your stomach. To see your husband and the smiles that fill his face and the kids face. The running into each other's arms and the honeymoon feeling all over again)

42. You spend crazy money on first kiss tickets in hopes you might be the lucky winner and get your husband off the boat first. (I won once. It was when we also got to have a pier homecoming. Chris was the very first one off that sub and all eyes were on us and I got to run forward and hug and kiss my husband and than he got to leave right away (usually they have to finish up work first and its a few to several hours before they can go home) 

Look at me not spend money

So today was a day filled with restraint on my part, yay for me. Lets see how long this lasts.

See today was the day we went back to the very nice dress shop to get them fitted, there are not many places in Kitsap country where you can buy a nice ball gown for a good price and then be able to get your alterations for cheap as well but we found one, and even today as we browsed the dresses found several that we fell in love with (reminder for the Navy Birthday Ball to go there) So we tried our dresses on and got them pinned to fit us and tried on jewelery and even though I bought a tiara like headband I tried one on and oh how it looked so pretty and everyone was like "you have to buy it" yeah, but remember I already bought one and spending another $40 dollars seemed dumb, so I put back the very pretty tiara like head band and pouted till we left. Now its just waiting and praying my dress a) fits like it should after the alterations and b) is done on time. The alterations lady is gone on vacations for 2 weeks and the Submarine Birthday ball is the 18Th of April, so the lady better get some mad work done when she returns, or else I would hope we would get the heads up "hey, it wont be done on time" they seem nice as I said and I think they would, especially when we went in the first time to look (and later buy) our dresses they knew the date we needed them by. So here is hoping, and praying everything works out.

I know your so sick of my ball talk, but damn it I am excited. I love my dress, and I love dressing up like a princess and I cant wait to post pictures. I still have major guilt over the amount of money being put into this ball, but everyone keeps telling me to just have fun and stop freaking out about it since I hardly ever do stuff like this for myself.

Now I promise I will stop about the ball for now, enough with boring you (except to say "yay for me for not purchasing a second tiara I don't need and sticking with the original, even if its not as pretty and perfect as the one I wanted, I did not spend the money and for that I am proud)

On a different note I need to go grocery shopping and I want the rain to stop so I can go without being soaked loading grocery's. What a baby am I?