Joy of all Joys.

So guess what I did today? No, really. Guess? Give up, it was really exciting, see after a few days of gradually worsening pain and sleepless nights I went to see the Dentist, someone I have not seen in awhile where I had 2 wisdom teeth removed. 2 down, 2 to go. They wanted to do all at the same time, but uh, yeah, I am happy to go back and have it done again so I feel somewhat normal with half of my mouth. Plus, they only had time since I was a walk in emergency patient to do the two teeth. I was glad that the place I picked out of the phone book turned out to be a really great place. Everyone was nice and friendly which makes the freaking out a bit easier to handle, see I was shaking so hard you think I was in a freezing room, and though it did not stop till I was already in a reclined position it made things easier to handle. I also found one of the rare few who did not need to put me under. I know some of you would prefer that but not me. It was on of the things I dreaded most about the whole wisdom teeth experience. They let Chris come into the room as they worked on my teeth where he fainted. Yes, my husband can make it threw the birth of his baby girl but not while they grind my tooth down to bits to pull out. I remember from my reclined position that one minute he was gripping my hand to let me know he was there and the next minute his hand went limp in mine, then was no longer in my hand and then there was the thump of his whole body sliding off the chair and onto the floor where his head got a nice bruise. I am happy to say he is OK and after them giving him so juice and moving him away from the view of my mouth he has his full color back. 

So here I am at home, tired from lack of sleep and very hungry. Yes, there is not a whole lot of things to eat when they say eat "soft foods" and to not eat foods that can get stuck in the now empty tooth sockets. Yeah, plans for tomorrow (New Years) were supposed to be Chinese food, which is no longer going to happen. I guess it will be soup for me, aren't I the lucky one.

Plus side the numbness has gone and there is little pain (though the medicine I took might be helping with that, but I am glad to announce I have yet to break into my bottle of Vicodin, yet.)

So that was my day. Aren't you just so jealous. The bright side is I should be able to sleep tonight after many nights of pain and agony, that's a plus. I'm off to drink something now that I can feel my tongue and play some Spore because my son got it for Christmas and it is the coolest and its something I can do sitting down (Doctors Orders, my poor husband) Wish me a fast recovery with NO problems.

Its going to be one of those crazy days

So today we will make our third attempt and seeing Santa. Hannah has been begging and pleading to see Santa forever. The first time we went the line was over 2 hours long and yes, we were the mean parents who did not want to wait for 2 hours so our daughter could see Santa. Instead we bribed her with a book from Barnes and Noble and promised to come back. Well we came back on Sunday to find out that the snow had shut down the mall. I wanted to scream at someone. There was not that much snow, but here everything is shutting down the weekend before Christmas and now my daughter was going to be denied Santa again? Geesh, you would think these people were not used to some snow. So now today, the day before Christmas Eve we will make one last attempt. The snow is melting, the roads are slush (and I will admit I am sad, I love the snow. Here in Washington its nice enough out to play in it and not freeze your butt off) and I expect the mall to be open even though the trash people did not come to get my trash. We will see Santa, I promised my daughter and regardless of the line or the crowds there will be that memory that she so badly wants. Now it is dealing with the angry 9 year old. Yes, he is not one bit of happy about us dragging his butt off too the mall and has no desire to sit on Santa's lap. His reply when I tried to talk him into it (complete with an eye roll) was "Mom, please, I'm 9, and that is embarrassing. Do you know what my friends would do if they saw me sitting on Santa's Lap?" Yes, my 9 year old is growing up and turning into a teenager faster then Id like. 

I'm off to make fudge and deviled eggs for my husband and kids. I love to bake, I'm not crazy about the cleaning up part though.

Just a quick update

So After much speculation of where we will move to next we have decided to stick with D.C. I know, how annoying I was with the whole thinking and wondering and stressing, but trust me when I say its a huge deal up and moving over and over again when kids are involved and much needs to be thought out and for the whole mess of thinking on paper and changing our minds I apologize. D.C Is still not a for sure thing, but we will know as of Friday. I am keeping my fingers crossed and praying it all works out. Sadly it is up to Chris's current command on this decision because they have to sign off on him extending for 8 more months for reasons I wont get into right now. I dread the idea of having to extend for 8 more months here and having to sit threw another winter. I hate the idea of up and moving in a school year but Chris would be crazy to pass this job up and we love the idea of D.C so the pros win over the cons. We even passed up the possibility of re-enlisting in a tax free zone and losing 10 thousand dollars to take this Job, so yeah, we must really want it (BAD) So here as I said is hoping Chris gets the OK and we can rest and not stress until it is time to move. So there is the current update on all that madness.

Now onto other things. I have been wrapping presents like crazy, Hannah is wanting to help which is OK. She picks out the paper, the bows and puts the presents under the tree for me. She has become my little helper. Jordan informed me today what he got me for Christmas. It was so cute the way he let me in on the secret. Chris and I already exchanged our gifts from each other, we are bad about keeping things like that secret, but usually when we take the kids shopping for the others present we do keep that secret because its their surprise to give. The kids are all excited and hype about next week. I don't blame them, I remember being that age. Hopefully they wont be like me though and unwrap the presents and then re-wrap them while my parents slept. I know, shame on me and trust me I always hated come Christmas that I knew what I was getting. This weekend I will start the baking.

We had a fabulous time this weekend at our Bill Engvall concert. A date is very rare for us and even more rare is the special treat of doing something fun and different, like we did Saturday night. We laughed so hard and I look forward to seeing him again if he comes back to this area. I told Chris Id like to make a concert or show a yearly thing if possible (his schedule doesn't always allow for that)

So that's it, my quick update. If I don't get to post before Christmas then Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays everyone.

Isn't that the way things go?

Have you ever gone shopping for something in particular but end up being frustrated because you can't find anything that fits what you are looking for? Like for instance you might be looking for a sweater to go with a pair of pants, or a dress for a party and yet you find nothing you like or is right for you (as in you find the perfect dress but not in your size) so eventually you get all frustrated and just settle or give up because your sick of looking? And does it not seem that when your just looking around a store for nothing in particular that's when you find many things you want? Usually this happens when you don't need it or worse, you don't have the money for it?

Well this happened to me. Last summer I looked high and low for a dress for Chris's sisters wedding, and found nothing I liked, or could afford and settled on a dress I had already in my closet. Today while we were waiting on our pictures at JCpenny's we killed time by looking in stores and I found like 6 dresses that I not only loved, but they all fit me perfect and were on sale. Damn the timing. I ended up buying one with the intend of going back next weekend and possibly buying another one. They were very cute party dresses that would look amazing with knee high black boots or heels and I kept thinking "this would be perfect for Vegas" because damn it in the next two years we will make it to Vegas with no kids and I want to look very cute and grown up when I go so I don't get the people asking me to show my ID every 10 minutes. Its bad enough people at Chris's command tend to mistake me as his daughter so I need things to make me look older. I want those dresses, and by the way I am not a dress person, so for me to love these dresses and love the way the look on me (I'm very critical about the way things look on me) is amazing.

On the bright side after buying the dress today I found out if we want to go (and can find a babysitter) there is a command Christmas party in a few weeks, so at least I have a place to wear my new dress (that is while it waits to be worn in Vegas)

Lets just flip a coin

OK, so I am going crazy with deciding where we will move too next. I know, its already been mentioned in 2 other post's, but I need to put my thoughts somewhat down and here seemed like a good idea.

These are the three choices we have for Chris sticking with projects, which he wants. That really is the only thing he wants, as for the where we move too, he does not seem to care which leaves the ball in my court (by the way, thanks honey) Why is it so hard for him to just help me decide? I mean this is a decision that affects the whole family. Its frustrating and I want to scream. Last night I got so mad at him as I made an pros and con's list for each duty station and he just sat there acting like he did no hear me at all. So finally I gave up and said "whatever, you choose where we move too, I don't care, I'm sick of this" and left. Well I went upstairs, I did not actually leave the house.

As I said Hawaii is a big step in the moving process. Yeah, I know how beautiful would it be to live there? And I so badly want to go, but the two biggest problems that arise are my kids education and the worry that Chris might get stuck on the island. See after he is done with shore duty he goes back to sea duty, and they might say "your here, and your staying here" which means going back to a fast attack boat, which is kind of what he is on now, and I don't know if you have noticed but he is never, ever home and until he leaves this command it will be about the same, with him always being gone. So yeah, I don't want to go back to a fast attack unless we have too.

D.C. Is still there. You know the job that was offered to my husband and he really wants. Again though problems arise. We have to extend 8 months, meaning we will move middle of the school year for the kids instead of in the summer. We also take a risk with his current command saying no to the extension and even if he can extend he will spend those 8 months gone, leaving me alone to set up the move and a place to live in DC which trust me with two kids is not easy.

Lastly there is Staying here. Yeah, I know. Everyone thinks its beautiful here. Its green and pretty and the mountains in the distance. I love Seattle, and hiking and going over to the beaches on the pacific ocean, but it rains allot. Its always wet, and its depressing. I hate housing here, its to expensive and to small for what you get. Yeah, staying here does not make me happy. I sound like a snob but some places are better suited for people and others are not, I fall in the are not category when it comes to living here.

So yeah, I give up. I say whatever he picks is fine with me, and truly it is, even if we stay here. I mean he is choosing his job, and that is what matters the most. He should like what he does right? So we will see, let this little drama I guess you could call it play out and we will see what the orders say where our life will take us. I will obviously let everyone know, even if you don't care. I keep waiting for Chris to come home and say "honey, we are going here" maybe then I can stop stressing some, not like orders can not be changed, hell its happened to us twice before we came here. So even once we have them in hand I am not holding my breath.

OK, I'm sure you are sick of my complaints. Ill stop now. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

Oh, shiny

I was attempting to make out Christmas cards but gave up because its boring. I'm all about not having the attention span lately to sit threw much of anything. Chris says I look like a bouncy ball flying off the walls. I have no clue whats gotten into me, but I wish I could just stop and relax and not be so always on the go. Chris is not helping much as he sits on the couch playing his Christmas present from me on the PS3. Yes, you heard me right, he already has his Christmas presents from me and the kids and I have my gifts from them as well. See Chris asked me what I wanted and I told him, and I asked and he told me and then we went out and bought our gifts and the other day the question was brought up about what was the point of wrapping up our presents from each other and waiting till Christmas to tear the wrapping apart when we already know what our gifts are. I know, what is the fun in that? Usually there is more surprise, just not this year. I am happy to announce I got everything I wanted from my family, well the three most important things at least I mean there is a budget so obviously my brand new Armada did not make it this year as a gift from my beloved husband, maybe next year though.

Jordan is having a friend sleep over which means an up pretty much all night long experience. I don't mind so much seeing as it is the weekend and sleeping in is possible. Hannah is doing the whole pesky little sister routine and trying to be included with the boys who clearly have no interest in playing with a 5 year old girl. She is not happy about that one bit. Soon she too will be at the age of sleepovers with her friends and my house will be very chaotic on the weekends. Not sure if I am looking forward to that one yet, I'm sure my hair will be grey and I will be pulling it out.

So remember in the post where I said I think were moving to Hawaii? Yeah, I'm not freaking out over this possibility. See there are things I did not think about. Like where will we stay until we move into housing (obviously a hotel, but for how long, and what about the dog?) I am worrying about our stuff not getting wrecked (I love our stuff, we have nice stuff and its all pretty new, I don't want any of it breaking or getting wrecked) I worry about money. I mean staying in a hotel and renting cars will get expensive if it lasts awhile, and since they have to ship our vehicle(s) we wont have one right away which we will need. Also the Navy only ships one vehicle so we either sell the other one or pay for the other one to be shipped as well. Then there is the school issue, I have heard they are not the best and every one tells me Id be better off homeschooling then sending them to the public schools, though everyone who has told me that has never even been to Hawaii much less sent their kids to the schools there. My list of worries go on and on. Like how limited we would be able to come home, since airfare for 4 people is not the cheapest from Hawaii. Plus things over there cost much more, and though they have a commissary and NEX where things will be cheaper I'm not sure how much cheaper. See where I am going with this? Its very nerve racking. I'm now re-thinking the Hawaii move. I will admit that there are many up sides to moving, I just don't know if they are worth the down sides of moving. Guess Chris and I need to figure out what we want and what its worth to us. I know that things would work out, but still the unknown is always scary. Plus Chris admitted that he has no clue what he would be doing over there which means he might be going to sea (again) and I refuse after 8 years of him being on subs and going out to sea to move to Hawaii so we can continue with this lifestyle. I want our shore duty which we should already have been on by now instead of doing back to back sea tours. So yeah, if us going to Hawaii means more sea duty time that wont happen and Chris agrees 100% with me on that one. I love me husband and I want him home, its bad enough by the time he goes to Shore duty we will have spent almost 1200 days apart of our marriage. Sad huh? So yeah, I want my Shore duty before we continue with this Sea duty crap. Even if it means us staying here in Washington. So I guess I jumped on the Hawaii bandwagon and got excited to soon, but I promise to keep everyone updated about where we will be moving too, not like any of you care, but it is my life and my blog so it does not matter if you care or not.

Shinny object. Guess that means its time for me to go, other things to do, told you I couldn't sit still for long, good thing its December where we will be on the go all month long with 2 more picture sittings, our Bill Engvall show, family coming to visit and the holidays. I love December, now where is my snow?

And yet another twist.

So since it is Thanksgiving I wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. I just got done cooking and decided to take a break before getting ready before we head out the door and over to our friends house. So here I am.

I have news in regards to where we will be living when we move away from here, and sadly its not DC. However it is an Island, its usually 85 degrees year round and my kids are worried about Volcano's. Can you guess where we are moving too?

Honolulu. HI. I'm excited. Obviously we don't have the written orders, but that takes time. Chris will still be in special projects which is good for him because he wants to stay with that group and it will still help for advancement. We could have waited for the DC job, it was still Chris's if he wanted it but allot of downsides came with waiting almost another year for it, but I wont bore you with those details on why we are not waiting. So without taking the DC job that left us with staying here in lovely Silverdale, WA (OK, so its not that lovely, it rains all the time and though it is very pretty, and green and I love Seattle, and hiking I hate the constant rain) so here we come Hawaii.

Anyone want to visit us? Of course that offer is only good if I know you, there will be no strangers staying in our house.

I know, I know things still could change, I mean another spot could open up in DC and Chris could decide "hey, wait, I want that" but we don't know that for sure, so until we have written orders this Hawaii thing is only about a 95% done deal. I'm excited, have I mentioned that? I mean I really wanted to go to DC, but Hawaii isn't all that bad of a second choice either. OK, Ill stop babbling now like a silly school girl and stop with this craziness.

Tomorrow is a shopping day. Yes, I am braving the stores. Target and JCpennys only though. Target for a few deals we need and Penny's because our pictures we had taken will be ready for pick up (and I wouldn't mind looking at what they have for sale either) I have never shopped on a black Friday, EVER!!! did I mention that? so it will be interesting. Luckily we don't really need anything, more so its DVDs and we are hoping to get Jordan's birthday present too at Target because they have what he wants for a very good deal. Wish me luck, I'm not a crazy crowd person so I hope I don't bite someones head off, or go crazy myself. Maybe instead Ill just sleep the day away and not risk the chance. We shall see.

Chris just pointed out our big bottle of Baileys will go bad this month, guess I will be having some of that tonight, and tomorrow night and until its all gone. Heaven forbid that goodness goes bad.

Again Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Are you ready?

Christmas. Its almost here, cant you just feel it? Yes, I am aware that we still have Thanksgiving to get by first but in all reality its just around the corner and this time next week it will have passed and as for my family we will be putting up the tree and the decor and having take out Chinese food as our tradition is usually. So really Christmas is not that far off at all. Scary huh? Even me who is practically done with all my shopping is still stressing on all things Christmas. Money is tighter this year and money needs to be stretched further due to covering other things (mainly needs) which really sucks, but I think I already mentioned that.

I only have a small handful of people to buy for, and two of those 4 gifts will be gift cards. Don't lecture me on the tackiness of gift cards because when you live half way across the country from certain people you need to buy for that you sadly only talk to a handful of times a year and that is mainly when you come to visit its hard to know what they need or want short of calling and asking and that seems even more tacky, so sending gift cards seems the best way to go. For the short list of recipients I need to buy for I am grateful. Which means no having to brave the stores once Thanksgiving has come and gone and they get much more crazy. Even my kids are done with the exception of the DVDs I will pick up for them that are not yet out, which are simple enough. See in our family each kids gets a pair of PJ's that suits their personality and a DVD. The PJ's are for Christmas morning (they get them Christmas Eve) and the DVDs are also for Christmas eve when we snuggle up in our new PJ's and watch the kids movies till they fall asleep while waiting for Santa to come. Obviously they are not excited about the PJ's every year but its kind of like a tradition for us and I can't seem to break it.

I love Christmas, have I mentioned that? I love the smell of candles (reminder, buy some new Christmas scented candles) the twinkling of the lights on the Christmas tree. I love the music and all the baking I tend to do, more so then any other year. I love the kids getting all dressed up and looking adorable and taking pictures (though I am sure this is not their favorite part) and the opening of family presents on Christmas Eve. I love putting the kids to bed and pretending to eat the cookies, drink the milk and unload all of Santa's gifts under the tree and filling the stockings with more goodies and then having the kids wake us up with the excitement in their eyes as they wait for us to get up (and wake up) before we give the OK to tear into the gifts while we watch their faces light up with smiles and say "cool" or "wow" yes, I love Christmas. I'm not crazy on how much money we spend, but I love the looks on the kids faces and the memories that are made. I remember being a kid, how much I loved this season, it must be where I got it from, I was always a Christmas fanatic growing up. Now Its about giving the same to my kids. 

I remember when we lived in GA, a place I loved for the warm weather, the beaches near by, but Christmas was the one time I did not like being there. I loved when we were able to escape to Minnesota to visit with Family and have a cooler Christmas with the promise of snow. It is the same here, Snow and the cold makes it feel more like Christmas, which is something I am grateful for, even though I generally despise most of the weather here in WA when it is mainly rain (its even raining now as I type, it is always raining) 

So there, that is my Christmas rant. 33 days to Christmas (I think) Now if only my husband would get a clue and stop buying me my gifts while I am present, I love him but he is not the most subtle person in the world. He never has been. 

Now we just sit and wait. The thought of Chinese food next Friday is making me very hungry by the way.

Rip off or mistake?

So I am sitting her waiting for Chris to bring Jordan back from his eye appointment and thought "what the hell Ill write something down" I'm not sure how long I have because the second they arrive we need to leave but Ill take my chances and start in on this anyways. Oh, and did you catch the first part of my blog, you know the part that says "I am waiting for Chris" Yep, that is right I have my husband back home, not sure for how long but all I care about right now is that he is here (I am super excited and happy about this) I was in tears yesterday when Jordan came home from school running up to the house screaming "daddy's home, I saw his truck, is he home, is he?" and at that moment Chris came out of the kitchen with a big old smile and Jordan screamed "daddy" and went running at him and threw himself into his arms to give him a big old hug and told Chris how much he missed him. It was so sweet that I wish I had been smart enough to pull out the camcorder and tape it, but I was not thinking. You noticed how I only had a sweet moment from Jordan? Yeah, that's because Hannah choose to act like it was just another day here in the house where daddy came home after being gone for almost 2 months and would have rather gone to her friends house to play. Yep, what a little love bug she is huh?

So anyway Jordan had an eye appointment. Did I mention that he has lazy eye? His eye tracks but it does not focus and we found this out back in like September I think at a normal eye exam where we were given a prescription for glasses that would help his good eye and then given the name of a specialist to help him fix the bad eye. Well Chris called to tell me that he has a totally different prescription then the one he got in September and now I am a bit pissed. I mean we shelled out a good amount of money for those glasses and now I find out that not only were they doing more harm then good but they were not the correct prescription. The new, very friendly specialist encouraged us to take the new prescription and go back to the old place and ask that they please re-do his glasses free of charge seeing as it has only been a few months and that they were way wrong with their findings. Yeah, so now that is where we are off to once Chris gets back, to raise some hell and hope that Jordan will have new glasses that we do not have to shell out money for by days end.

Ill let you know how it goes.

Me and my boring, uneventful life.

I am sitting here trying to write with a very big 70 pound golden retriever sitting in my lap. Its not easy, trust me, especially when she is always pawing at me to pet her. Does she not understand she is too big to be a lap dog?

I was sound asleep less then 30 minutes ago. Early for me to go to be at 8pm but Hannah was asleep, Jordan is old enough to put himself to sleep at 9pm (though I did get up and make sure he actually went to bed though I am pretty sure I heard some toy playing going on after lights out) and after a crummy and depressing day all I wanted to do was sleep. Honestly I am so sick of this patrol that I could sleep the rest of it away. Gone is my usual perky self and instead sits a very grumpy, depressed me, not something I am proud of. I have done this before, I have (the patrols) many of them, and I will do many more, but all I want is my husband home. I'm not sure if its the holidays right around the corner or the fact that I am bursting at the seams to talk to him and tell him, I just miss my husband. Yeah, I know your sick of my bitching and moaning about this, but then again it is my blog and you can deal with it. My point is and I got way off track (sort of) is that I was sound asleep and now I am awake, and bored. All the good books have been read, all the TV serious we have on DVD have been watched and I have no desire to sit and channel surf. This sucks, this no ambition thing I have going on.

So here is a reminder to myself, when I go to Costco this weekend to pick up allot of books. To help with these moments where I need something to do and a book is always something that I am up to. Of course if I were smart Id avoid Costco all together seeing as I love that place and tend to spend more money then I budget and buy things we don't need. Maybe Barnes and noble is a better fit, or Amazon.com? Places I wont get in to much trouble with.

Im bored. did I mention that?

The ramblings of a sleep deprived me.

Already my possible row one tickets are now possible row three tickets, still not bad but without a husband to tell my "yes honey, get the tickets, I will be there" I stare at ticket masters website thinking "should I or shouldn't I?" I'm tempted to tell my mom that we want tickets for this show for Christmas and screw the need for bras from Victoria secrets. Of course that does not change Chris not being able to go if he cant but hey, I could always bring a friend right? I never said what we wanted to go see, and no its nothing like a cool concert just Bill Engvall who we love!!!! What really pisses me off is a few days ago I heard some of the best words in my life "You have a phone tree message" It was on my machine and my first thought was "yes, hubby is coming home" yeah, no not so much what I had hopped for, instead it was the opportunity to send a letter to the hubby which by all means is still a great thing, just not compared to the hopes of a husband home by now. However I did not know about this concert until after the letters were sent off. This is so going to bug me until I choose to be bold and spend the money even though I am a huge stickler for saving, and hope for the best, or just say "forget it, we will see him some other time" Damn my indecisiveness this is driving me rather nuts, but Im sure you can tell by basically a repeat post of the same ramblings from a few hours earlier. I would just bring a friend and say forget Chris and money would not be wasted, a babysitter could be found (seeing as the friend I would bring currently is the babysitter) and I would get to go, but that would not be to fair to the husband who if he was here would be left behind and not happy for he too would want to go. Im just not that mean to leave my husband out like that. 

OK, Im stopping now, no really, I am. Enough over thinking and freaking out. Deep breaths, and I am moving on. Better, nope, not really.

My daughter is living in an imaginary world of make believe. Good for her using her imagination, though her imagination is starting to get into trouble. for instance her friend from ballet class ate all the M&M's today. Even though Hannah's hands were the ones covered in the dye from the candy. Every time she gets into trouble she blames her imaginary friends for doing whatever it was that got her into trouble, and the look she gives you as she spins the story is so cute you want to laugh instead of lecture. Currently her imagination is on a ballet class she attends with a very nice teacher who told her to practice twirling and jumping on our bed and all her friends in the class. Oh and I guess according to her teacher she needs a pink ballet dress (her words, not mine) And before you go assuming she has no friends and that is why she is using her imagination she does have friends. I think its wanting to go off to school with Jordan and her love for Ballet. In our house it never gets boring, Hannah makes sure of that. 

She still doesn't have much hair. I have been giving her vitamins with Iron in them to help promote healthy hair growth but its hard to tell. I imagine if its a vitamin deficiency verses the short hair anagen syndrome it will take a few months to notice, though I swear I see the slightest of growth, but then that is the hoping and wanting I think more then the actual seeing. The other day we were out at the grocery store and some lady had the nerve to walk up to me glaring like I was so horrible monster and asked me "what in earth did you do to that child's hair" and then walked away before I could even respond. I actually get this allot. Do people really think I shave or cut my daughters hair to make her look bald? Maybe I should just dress her up like a boy and people will think nothing of the barely any hair thing and leave us alone with their rude comments, though that would require a whole new wardrobe and I think Chris would veto that idea pretty fast. (And yes, I am kidding about actually passing her off as a boy)

And why is it my son has school tomorrow but not on Tuesday? I get why they don't have school on Tuesday with it being Veterans day, but Jordan was not happy about going to bed at 9PM to get up for school tomorrow and then have Tuesday off. He tried talking me into letting him stay home tomorrow which I admit I almost caved in and agreed upon but off to school he must go and learn new things. Still, It would have been nice to let the kids have a 4 day long weekend, but I don't make up the rules.

See, my life is exciting. Kids and dogs and husbands who are away due to work. I'm off to install games onto my new mac laptop (I've had this thing for over a month and still haven't done that yet, I think its about time) or better yet I could try to get some sleep since its already 1 in the morning, but what fun would that be.

Gosh darn it! talk about frustrating

OK. Right now I wish I could talk to my husband. I am going crazy here trying to refrain myself from spending 120 dollars of two tickets to a show I know we would love to go see. I can even get 1st row seats right now and as the minutes tick by I know that eventually If I don't act now I might not get anywhere near the 1st row. So whats the problem? Well Chris is gone, out to sea and though he should be here for the night what if I order them and he says "sorry honey, cant do it" so I have two choices. Order the tickets and spend the money on a show we really, really want to see (and is only here for one night) and hope he will be here to see it with me, or wait for him to get home and take my chances with crappier seating if any seating but know that he can or cant not go which would save me possibly 120 dollars. Can I scream now?

Right now 120 dollars is allot. Well considering that its near Christmas, and Chris's birthday, and Jordan's Birthday so there is allot of things coming up that we will need money for, and though I don't mind spending the money if we can go, its the worry of if we cant go. I even have a babysitter set up and everything. This is torture, pure torture.

This truly sucks by the way.

Yep, its official, I am the worse mom ever.

I am a bad mommy. Well that's what Ive heard all week and weekend. It started with Jordan having two friends sleep over. This by the way should be simple seeing as they are all 9 and I thought nothing of it because Jordan has had friends sleep over before and there has been no problems. Yeah, well having two kids verses three does make a difference especially when you are the only parent there. I tried to be the cool mom with the video games and pizza and soda for dinner. Movies and toys and letting them stay up late, though I guess my definition of late and theirs was very different. After hours of Jordan and his friends running around the house screaming, not listening to me when I say "please keep your voices down because Hannah is trying to sleep" and jumping up and down and throwing Jordan's toys around so I thought the whole upstairs would come crashing down I decided that at 2am it was bedtime. Yeah, Jordan was so angry. I was informed I was embarrassing him in front of his friends and that when he sleeps over at their houses they can stay up all night long. I told him that his friends didn't have a younger sister trying to sleep, and that mommy herself would like to go too bed. So this is where I was told "Your so uncool mom, I'm so mad at you" and went to inform his friends who groaned that they had to pick up and get ready for bed. Remind me that more then one child sleeping over should require two parents to supervise because little Hannah does not make it easier.

Then comes Hannah. Who at one point loved baths, took them daily with all her mermaid barbie dolls and play dolphins and sea animals. However less then a week ago she informed me that she wont take a bath anymore. Well a week went by and I had to force her into the bath kicking and screaming where she sobbed like it was the end of the world and called me a "bad mommy" I told her she needed a bath to get germs off and to smell pretty and soon after I had plunked her in and filled the tub with toys she was happy but I still got the look that said "how dare you mommy"

Today was no other exception of the bad mommy routine. Besides making my kids pick up their rooms (how dare I right?) I informed Hannah that her movie (Tinkerbell) which she has been waiting for forever and ever and ever was in the mailbox according to the USPS tracking thing. So she was so excited. Well the horrible mommy I am lost the keys to the mail box, and seriously can not find them anywhere. Ive torn the house up side down so it now looks like the house threw up and yet Ive come up empty handed. Without the key which by the way is on the house and van key chain meaning I cant go anywhere, I cant get the mail and this did not sit well with Hannah at all. The only thing I can do besides keep looking which trust me I have done, I had Chris mail his keys too a neighbor so In a few days I can drive, and get into my house if its locked and get the mail. So now we just have to wait, which again is not sitting well with Hannah.

I am officially I bad mom. I wonder if bribing her with a early Christmas present would help cheer her up? I also think I need one of those things that helps you find your keys because this really sucks.

Wow, this sucks.

The idea of having and keeping a budget. Great Idea, but to bad I cant stick to the damn thing. Last paycheck somehow little things keep popping up, and this paycheck is no different. Here I though with Chris being gone there was no way Id go over budget, but I was wrong. I hate when that happens.



It started with toys r us having there buy 2 get the 3 free on all video games, which I couldn't pass up. I mean with Christmas right around the corner and 2 boys that love their video games. That was wrong turn number one. Then Chris's boat pulled into San Diego and my husband with his dire need for an Internet connection decided to get a hotel room. Wrong turn number two, though I don't blame him for wanting a bed not the size of a cot with people sleeping over and under him in bunks, the coldness of the boat and the crappy shower system. So after these wrong turns I re-did the budget and set off to the store with the mindset that there was no way Id waiver again. How wrong was I.



It started at the Navy exchange. I picked up pj's for Hannah which were not on the list but they were fleece nightgowns and so soft and cute that I couldn't resist. She is a growing girl after all. Then off to the shoes where the lady had no idea what she was doing telling me my daughter wore a size 7. Hm, that's why she just outgrew a 9 huh? I never knew feet got smaller instead of bigger. Then the lady took off not to reappear for assistance (they keep the shoes in back so its not like I could do much) So I browsed the clearance rack and found a decently cute pair of sketchers shoes that would work. After grabbing a baby shower card and a few cards for Chris's patrol box I was on my way out the door happy I was doing so good, but that's when I saw the cutest hello kitty doll that would be perfect for Hannah's stocking, so I grabbed that up. Then as I was walking to the register for the second time I saw they had Columbia jackets and Jordan was in dire need of a new winter jacket and it was almost 50 dollars off so I had to get that as well, I mean breaking the budget is OK when what you are buying is a necessity right? After that I knew I had to stop and dragged my heels past the oh so wonderful display of Christmas decorations by Jim Shore who I love and paid where I ended up being 70 dollars over budget.



Then it was off to Costco, where might I add I made my budget higher then normal because I knew I never met my budget there. Guess I should of set it higher. They had rows of Christmas presents and the cutest girl dresses and books and DVDs. So yeah, my $70 dollar Costco budget turned into a $130 dollar trip. Guess that means my pampered chef stuff will have to wait, but now I'm done, no really, I am. No more unnecessary stuff this pay period. Maybe if I just lock myself into my house and don't go out all will be okay and I can salvage what is left of my budget.

I know that people don't care about how I spend my money, but I do. With Christmas coming and Birthdays soon after that I would like to keep a firm hand on staying in budget. Luckily the kids are almost done with the exception of a video game that's not out yet and stocking stuffers. Though I have noticed I keep picking up extra gifts that I see which I don't think is helping my budget either. The kids don't need that many gifts, plus are small house cant hold what we already have much less a bunch more new toys.

So I am going back to the drawing board and re-doing my budget, one last time and this time I will stick to it, that's a promise. Now all I have to do is stay out of Costco till I need things there and I should be OK.

Look a zombie! No wait, thats me.

I cant sleep. Not much of a surprise since this is usual when Chris isn't here. Its not that I'm scared, but it just feels weird not having him here. I miss him like crazy and hope more then anything these next several weeks hurry up and pass by so it doesn't seem so long. I hate the idea he wont be here for trick or treating with the kids. He usually misses Halloween and though I'm thankful he has only missed one Christmas because that's a big holiday for us I wish he could be here for all holidays and other important events. It sucks really. Though this weekend wasn't so bad seeing as they made a port call to San Diego. Not sure why they had a port call shortly after they left here, I suppose for the single sailors who want to get our and have fun, but speaking from a wife's point of view I would have rather had my husband here for that time and them left a little later. I get that they want to keep the moral up of the crew but I want my husband, and yes I know that is selfish. This would only be Chris's second port call in the 7 plus years he has been in. The first one was to Cocoa Beach, FL and we lived 3 hours away so I was able to visit him there and it was a blast. I just wish we could have visited him in San Diego, but we really don't have the money or the time off to take a trip down there, but I was happy to settle with web cam and phone calls for a few days. The funny thing is it makes it harder when he leaves again. You go from saying goodbye in person when he leaves us to getting excited that suddenly after not being able to talk at all for awhile to getting that change to having to say goodbye via the phone and going several more weeks without communication except for maybe an email here and there if it gets transmitted. It makes it hard again after you start getting used to them not being here. My what a depressing blog this is turning out to be.

Hannah has taken to telling knock knock jokes. There not very good or make much sense but she loves telling them. She also has a new imaginary friend that is a spider. She hates bugs but loves her little non-existent spider friend. She is blossoming each day, more so then ever before. She is like a sponge and sucks up knowledge every chance she can. Its cute to have her tell me about things she has learned. I kick myself because I keep meaning to pull out the video camera and always forget (reminder to self to leave it downstairs so its handy) like yesterday she gathered as many hard covered books as she could, made tents out of them and put her stuffed animals in them. When I asked her what she was doing she informed me that she was protecting them from the monster. Going into great detail about the monster and how scared they were and how she was the only one that could protect them. She then informed me I had to be very quiet so the monster wouldn't hear us and then went to hide in the fort she made for herself out of my living room couch pillows and the coffee table. She is so ready for school.

Jordan still is pretty much the same. He is still a hardcore boy. He gets dirty, he loves to run and play outside. He rides his bike though he favors he scooter because he loves trying to do tricks on the thing. We have woods over by the park and him and his friends spend hours playing in them. He loves his video games and is not thrilled that I have taken away game privilege's till the weekend. So yeah, nothing new with him. He is growing, needs new jeans (both of my kids are growing actually) He suddenly is in love with hooded sweatshirts. He used to hate them because he said they were uncomfortable but now its all he wants to wear. Good thing he has several but I'm thinking of buying a few more because its cold here now and he really, really likes them. He must take after me in the whole hoodie thing since its what I love to wear too in the fall/winter. I must have like 30 hooded sweatshirts in my closest.

Chris always kids with me that the kids look like him but are mostly like me, which isn't always a good thing. I'm very stubborn at times and I really don't want them to be that stubborn too.

The joys of motherhood. I could never imagine life without them, even when things get hectic or they are acting up I love being a mom.

I really should force myself to bed, though I know I will toss and turn and lay there awake till 3 or 4 am only to feel like a zombie tomorrow, which isn't fun since I have a ton of things I have to do tomorrow, so being in a zombie like state just wouldn't work.

My day

So my husband is gone. He left this morning. Let me rephrase that since I am making it sound like he left me like for good, which he did not. He went on deployment. So with that being said I can now explain why I was having such a pissy week awhile ago.

See Chris wasn't supposed to go out to sea for some time, but he came home and said "I have bad news" which involved them moving up the date of deployment and giving us no time to prepare or even really react. On top of that, our pay is still screwed up and I fear while he is gone it wont get fixed and he worked lots of hours. This on top of everything else small going on and it made for our crappy week.

I'm over the crappy week and walking around thinking Chris will still come home for dinner tonight, which he wont. This lasts a few days, sometimes a week before it really sets in that he is gone. So here are the days I become like a single mom, being the mommy and the daddy all in one. Trying to capture lots of pictures and video so when Chris comes home he gets a glimpse of life while he was gone.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that we were going to go to the Navy ball next weekend. I had the dress and everything, his dress blues were ready to go and I was so excited. We had a babysitter and everything. See Ive never been to a Submarine or Navy ball because he has always been deployed or had duty, and this time I guess is no exception. So yeah that didn't make things much better with the news, but I said I was done with my crappy week discussion and this time I promise I am.

The weather here sucks, its cold and rainy and windy and calls for that extra blanket on the bed. It seems to be reflecting my current mood with Chris leaving. Usually I love fall, the leaves falling, especially around here its beautiful, but the wind and the rain make it kind of enjoyable.

I'm jumping around allot, I know...but I don't care, not really anyways.

As I am typing this there is a workmen painting my exterior door, which is the main door in and out of the house. Why are they painting my White door that isn't meant to be painted, its that aluminum material and it looked fine before. Oh, and they are painting it Green. So I have an Orange house (well it could be called a brown I guess) with yellow trim and a green door. Lovely. And where is my notice? shouldn't I get a notice when they will be painting? Now I have to watch for Jordan and tell him not to touch the wet green door when he gets home from school. Yes, I love living in housing, itself alone could produce many stories. And did I mention they are very loud when they are painting? I think its time to turn up the music and tune them out.

So my mom is convinced Hannah has something other then short Anagen syndrome. She thinks its a vitamin deficiency. Which I must admit it could be and we have her on vitamins to help if that is the case, and trust me I would love to believe that in every way. I would love to believe her hair is growing at a slower rate, and it will come in suddenly very soon, but Ive been believing that for many years now (well since she was born) and so far nothing has happened. Though I am not sitting down and giving up, I have spent much money on shampoos and conditioners that are supposed to help the hair shaft, I have bought vitamins with Iron and much more with the small hope it will work. You have no idea how sick I am of people calling her a boy when she is in pink or wearing a dress. People who think she has cancer or others who think she is 2 when she really is almost 4 1/2. Its heart breaking for me. Every time I see a little girl around Hannah's age with a head full of hair I start to cry, I don't in public, I hold it back and tell myself how lucky I am that she is healthy and happy and that is all that matters, but I still want her to have hair. I talked to a girl who has loose anagen syndrome and she was telling me in High school she was teased horribly, and I really don't want Hannah to go threw that. High school is hard enough without giving people a reason to tease. Even if she had a wig I worry someone might know and pull it off for laughs. I know, I need to stop worrying. The thing about Hannah's syndrome is really the dermatologist didn't know much about it because its a newer thing, which means in all reality she could outgrow it in time. So I need to take this one day at a time, but when your a stresser like me who worries about everything, that's kind of hard, but I'm going to try it at least.

What a bunch of fun Ive been in this post, sorry I'm such a downer today, but I'm not going to be upbeat and perky when I don't feel it.

Finally an answer

Today was a hard day, and maybe I'm selfish for being upset, but as a mother when your told something is wrong with your kids, you have the right to be upset, even when its nothing major.

For those of you who don't know Hannah is 4, and has very fine, thin, blond hair that isn't growing like it should. At first I thought nothing of it, it took Jordan until he was 4 to get thicker hair that needed to be cut, but Hannah's has no change, not really at least. It looks the same as when she was 2. It isn't getting thicker, or longer. So obviously I started to get concerned, especially as I got the question "whats wrong with her?" "where is her hair?" "does she have cancer?" or her being called a boy even when she is in a dress. Today we had our appointment with the specialist and found out what is wrong with her, and though its nothing serious it still was hard for me to hear. She is healthy in every other way so for that much I am grateful for but she does have a disorder that causes her hair not to grow, and in fact probably wont ever grow much longer or thicker then it is now.

She has what is called Short Anagen Syndrome. Its not very well known, the doctor told me what he could but I haven't been able to find much online. I do know that its a condition where the hair follicle does not grow like it should. That its most common in blond haired girls, and that in most cases their hair wont grow past the nape of the neck. We have been told some kids seem to outgrow it, usually if this is going to happen between the ages of 5-10, sometimes not till puberty though, but some people don't. There is no cure or treatment for it as of right now and because of the bald look locks of love will give Hannah and kids with this condition (which is grouped together with loose Anagen syndrome) a wig. I guess around the age of 6 they will mold her head and make her a wig if she or we would like her to have one) but we will hope and pray and wait and see if her hair comes in more where we hopefully wont have to do that.

So yeah, its been one of those days. I feel guilty for being upset, I'm glad we know what is wrong with her, I'm glad its nothing serious, but I still feel upset that she wont have hair like all the other girls do. That she will get teased at school for having no hair. It could be worse, I know. I also know that there are many people out there with worse problems, that's why I feel guilty for being so upset over something so small.

Wishing I could scream

Last week was a very bad week, and this week isn't looking awhole hell of allot better. Its that domino affect, where you feel that anything that can go wrong will go wrong. I know everyone has those days, weeks and even months, its apart of life, but what about when you just want to throw up your hands and scream "just give me a break already?" if only it were that simple. The worst part is I want to vent, I need to vent and yet I cant vent, not yet anyway..soon though I will vent and you will be poured upon with my emotions.

There are things I can tell you though, but I'm not sure if I'm in the mood, today was yet again one of those days where I wanted to throw my hands up and scream. I was reminded for the tenth million time how lonely being a military wife can be. Its odd but hes not deployed and yet I rarely see him. I get the long hours, I get the never seeing each other, but it never makes it easier to feel like sometimes you are a single mom. Like today, when Chris kissed me goodbye while I was asleep. I went threw the normal routines of the day, and then 6pm came and went, then 7 and then 8pm when my kids were telling me they were starved and I made dinner and we ate, then I saved the leftovers for Chris when he gets home and put the kids to bed. By the time 10pm rolled around I knew my husband probably wouldn't be coming home at sure enough at 11 I got the call saying work was busy and he had to stay the night. Its hard because even phone calls don't come often between them trying to get stuff done. Usually the rule is if he isn't home by 7pm we eat without him, but tonight I couldn't help but hope he would come home. I obviously don't blame him, its his job and I support him and his job, but it never means its easy.

Its only going to get worse before it gets better, I know this one for sure. I look at what it was like when he was on a trident and how he had a set schedule. When he had weekends off at least half the year, was home every night half the year, was home at decent hours half the year. On a trident there are two crews, so when the other crew is gone it means a normal life for the crew that stays behind. Currently Chris is on a fast attack and there is only one crew. So once every so many nights he stays on board, even if its a holiday or a birthday he is at work. The long hours year round and never a set schedule, things change at the drop of a hat and its not uncommon for Chris to come home and say "sweet were leaving soon" without warning of this upcoming deployment. You cant plan anything and its hard. It does show me how amazing my husband is. The hard, long hours he puts it, the crap he deals with, the missing time with us and yet when he is here even when he is exhausted he tries his hardest to be there for us. Did I say how proud I was off him?

But anyway I'm done talking about work stuff, well my husbands work stuff. Lets hope for a few good days shall we? Though I can tell you they will be very busy days even if they are good. Between doctor appointments, meeting with teachers, getting new tires on the van, running many errands and making lots of phone calls this week will fly on by with a very tired me by days end. I am so used to being busy that at moments like this, when I stop and sit I am fidgeting and moving around in my seat. Chris comments that even when I'm talking on the phone I don't sit still but rather pace back and forth.

On a bright note, well for me at least, soon I will be able to write from my bed, or anywhere I want on my very own laptop. Yes, we have laptops. Two in fact, though one needs a new battery cord because a certain dog of ours decided it would be a good idea to chew threw it. The other laptop is Chris's and though I can borrow it, I don't. So I'm excited!!! Ive wanted my own laptop, one I picked out by myself that is strictly for me. Now I'm just waiting for it to be delivered because Apple offered a military discount online and it was cheaper to buy it there then at best buy (the closest retailer to sell them) Though I now have buyers remorse for spending that much money. Hell, for that much money Chris and I could have went to Vegas, or I could have put it towards a vehicle, but as I said Ive wanted this forever and each and every time we have the money I spend it on the kids, or Chris. So Ill have to get over my buyers remorse and enjoy my new little toy.

Sorry, had to add the bright information of news to offset all the bad news going on around me, and no, I still wont tell you what that is. You will just have to wait and see.

Just another day

So tonight Chris has duty which means he is not coming home. It is also swim lesson night for the kids, after tonight they only have two more lessons until they either repeat or move on to the next level. Here is my dilemma. The husband took my van, the only vehicle with gas. Usually I don't care and I walk to the pool, its only 10 minutes away and I like the exercise, but then again the last several times I walked it was beautiful out, with warm weather and sunny skies, but today its cold, and overcast and even though the Doppler says it wont rain I live in an area that the weather is hardly ever right and rain happens allot. So do I walk, hoping it wont rain till I get back home at 5:45 or do I take the Truck which I cant drive because its like driving a bus too me and I fear I will get in an accident, plus to fill it up with gas would cost around 90 dollars. There is the other choice, just not going, they haven't missed one yet and lots of kids have missed before them, so it wont hurt them at all to miss one, right? so why do I feel so guilty then if I even think about not going? Jordan could care less, he would rather be off playing with friends, but Hannah loves swimming and looks forward to her Tuesdays and Thursday swim lessons. I wonder if I bribe them with the fun pool this weekend to make up for lake of swim lesson? That just might work. Plus I really don't feel the best, so Id be saving those Id be around of possible catching something (though in all reality its mostly cramping pain which we all know is not contagious, but hey if it helps my guilt) I guess I will just wait and see when its time to go.



So our house is painted, no trim yet though I did ask one of the contractors what color we get, and its an ugly yellow. Lucky us. Now our house will look like Halloween colors. I still want to know who the hell picked out the ugly ass colors and why. I'm assuming it was the cheapest, hopefully they love the complaints everyone is sending there way over the crappy paint job and ugly colors. Now we await the application of the trim and fence being painted and I can put all our things back in the yard. I just want my yard back.

My daughter has turned into a smart ass. For example today I stepped on one of her very hard toys and it hurt. As I grabbed my foot trying not to curse because little ears were in the room I reminded her to keep her toys picked up if she was done playing with them. 5 minutes later when I came back into the living room she calls me over to where the toys were and says "watch me mommy" and she steps over her toys, then she puts her hands on her hips and says "see, if you watch where you are walking you wont step on my toys" who knew a 4 year old could make you feel so small and worse have such attitude? OK, that's not true, I knew she has attitude, she gets it from her brother and me (poor Chris) the joys of having them grow up and actually become teenagers, cant I just keep them small forever?

Trapped

I'm trapped in my house. I cant get out and no one can get in. I cant even look out the windows anymore. So whats going on you ask? Well we are getting our house painted. We should have gotten a notice that said "tomorrow starting at 7am we will begin painting on your street" that would have been nice, but nope, that didn't happen. Luckily for Chris and Jordan they started on the back of the house taping up the windows so they could escape out the front of the door, but now I'm wondering how are they going to get back in? I awoke this morning to the sound of the workmen walking on my roof and talking outside my window about the dog poop in the yard, the whole 3 piles of it since I had picked it up the day before (our dog shits allot OK) hey, if I would have gotten a notice I would have picked it up, but no notice, no picked up dog poop. See usually I pick up the dog crap every morning after Jordan leaves for school, but seeing as my backyard was filled with strangers and I couldn't get out the backdoor I decided they can deal, how nice of me right?



I'm not sure what color our house will be. Ive seen yellow, green and that's it so far. Someone told us they heard salmon colored, ick. I hope its like a red then and not orange or pink, or better yet that whoever heard salmon was dead wrong. I wish I could go out and look. Good thing we didn't have anything big planned today seeing as we really cant leave. I was supposed to go across the street to my friends house but I'm pretty sure she will understand. My only real concern is the dog, the dog who needs to eat, and pee and poop and cant go outside, poor pup.



So that's my excitement for the day. Lucky me.



Other news here in the household. The Military has screwed up our pay again. They have screwed up our pay more times since we have gotten to this command just over a year ago then they have since Chris has been in the military, I'm sorry but I want my pay fixed, like pronto. Unfortunately the people who need to fix it are never in the office, do they not work? Why cant my husband have their job? Instead my husband is never home, being sent off to all these different places for training and works long ass hours.



Jordan had a doctors appointment yesterday at the Naval hospital. The first time he was seen there and I really hope the last. The nurse practitioner who checked him out made us feel like the worlds worst parents. Like we were stupid and dumb, it sucked. She didn't listen to our concerns at all and half the time would ask us a question and while we were in the middle of answering it make a phone call or cut us off and start talking about something else. The worst part was our son, who was not there for an exam had the horrible experience of the lady laying him back, reaching into his pants un-announced and examining his private area. Now to me, every time he has gone in before they announce to him and to me what they are going to do so they don't scare him, Jordan was scared this time, poor boy. Then to make matter worse instead of referring us to the place in town that was recommended she is refering us to a place over and hour and a half away. Did I mention we have to drive 2 a month there? oh, and they close at 4pm so we have to pull Jordan out of school for half a day. I left that appointment one pissed off mom.



See what a happy, exciting life we lead? Yeah, anyway...



The weather here has been perfect. Sunny, in the high 70s even the low 80s and just beautiful out. So beautiful that we decided that we would catch a ferry over to Seattle this weekend, and now the damn forecast is calling for rain and the temp to be in the 60s. Not the best type of day to spend walking around pikes place with two kids. I'm hoping for a turn around, but if not I guess the kids will have to settle for a day at the indoor pool or a trip to Cabelas. Yes, my kids consider Cabelas fun, and they love to go. What a silly family I have.



Speaking of my silly family, last night at swim practice, only the second one Chris has come with me he disappeared halfway threw with the promise to be right back. I didn't think anything of it thinking maybe he saw a friend or went to get something to drink, but after I had gotten the kids dried off and we were getting ready to head outside to look for the missing husband he showed back up with a grin on his face that showed he had been up to something. He had walked across the street to the NEX to purchase Star wars force unleashed for PS3 because he had just remembered it came out that day, his excuse was he wanted to surprise Jordan, but who do you think was up all night playing that game? By the time dinner was done, and homework and reading a chapter of his book Jordan had to head off to be leaving Chris the only player. Men and their video games.





Off to make some more puppy chow for the kids (and me too, that stuff is good)

I forgot to post this, and now as Im about to post it I see what color my house is being painted and its horrible, it is a orange color and so ugly, plus we have blue trim on our house, they so better change that because the color orange they picked and the color blue we have wont go together. Its not even a pretty orange either. I blame my husband because the other day he was joking how we would get an orange house and now we have one. I wonder who picked the colors, because they are all ugly, I mean whatever happend to a nice shade of green, or blue? Why ugly colors that look like crap? Yes, you are allowed to laugh, because If I drove by these houses and saw the ugly colors Id laugh too.

Nothing out of the ordinary

I haven't felt like writing lately, notice the lack of posts? I really wasn't in the mood tonight either and yet here I am doing just that. We will see if I actually post this one or just delete it when Im done, which I have been known to do.

So why the lack of enthusiasm to write? Busy, stressed, and my heart just isn't in it. Allot surprisingly has been going on lately, even with my husband off in a different state for work (which you all know, and yes, I still miss him like crazy) Besides the usual dealing with the kids, looking at houses online that I want to buy (but I know we wont because we cant afford the 300,000 payments right now unless a certain husband sold his truck which I wont ask him to do) Cleaning and doing my usual trying to re-organize the house so all of our stuff that once fit into our old 2400 square foot home now fits into the 1300 square foot home, which is very hard to do and why after living here a year I am still trying to make things work for us. The garage is officially a playroom, meaning on those rainy days which there are allot of here I have to run with the kids from the front door to which ever vehicle we are taking, not fun. We have spent a fortune on storage shelving for the house and garage and I'm about done, or so I think, with actually making things work. Now the white walls are getting to me but I really don't have the energy to paint them (plus when we move we have to paint them back the boring white) The kids have started swimming, which they love. Hannah loves water, the smile on her face while she is in swim class is so big and she does so well too, even after today's little episode where she almost drowned she wasn't afraid of the water, though now I have officially become a hovering mother at the edge of the pool. See the kids do half the class with floaties on and half without them on. This happened when she didn't have the floaties on. The class is 2-4 year old's mainly and when its not the kids turn they have to hang on to the edge shelf and wait. Hannah has never had a problem before and always hung on, but today I happened to look over from the benches the parents have to sit on and saw my little girl about a foot away from the wall, her little arms flailing about as she bobbed under the water, she did good at trending water but you could tell she was panicked and I was a little pissed off that the lifeguard who was inches in her perch above the water did nothing so I ran over, laid down on the pool deck and reached out till I could grab her and pulled her to the water, it was at this point her teachers and the lifeguard who was talking to friends noticed what was happening and offered their apologizes. Yeah, as I said I will be the mom hovering over her daughter when its not her turn and she does not have floaties on. I understand that things happen, but why have a lifeguard when she is to busy chatting up friends to do her job? and I don't blame the teachers for what happened though I do blame them for having more kids in their class then they are supposed to have (10 is the max) so why do they take on kids who just show up and pay the day they want to start instead of saying "sorry, class is full" that's my grip. Luckily Hannah wasn't turned off by the water, though class ended shortly after that so we will see Thursday when we go back if she will be scared or go on in like she usually does. It was cute but as we were in the dressing room changing she said "mom, that was terrifying, I was freaking out" I couldn't help but laugh and hug her. I think next time I put her in swimming she will go to the early swim class during the day when its less busy meaning less kids. The class before hers only has like 4 or 5 kids in it.

Then there is the drama with my son. My son who thinks the world should be handed to him on a silver platter. He is at the age where listening to mommy doesn't happen. Where he stomps off and says "I hate my life" yes, its a lovely stage (sarcasm there) I tell him to go to bed, he turns off the lights and plays with toys in his bed, or his DS (until that got taken away last night) I ask if he has homework he says no, but when I check his bag there is homework. Isn't it to early for the defiant stage? I mean he had it somewhat before, but now its horrible. Lucky me huh? He is a good boy, he reads for 30 minutes a night, he picks up the dreaded dog poo that I hate picking up and he helps with other things around the house. I'm not sure if this has something to do with the new friends he has started to hang around with or not, but something has changed. Speaking of Change he got glasses. He is not happy about them, but he has them and to his dismay he has to wear them. He came home today all upset saying a kid in his class called him a freak because of his glasses, to which I told him that he will always have to deal with kids who are mean and rude and for him to not get upset over what some kid said. Sadly in life there will always be those people who just are asses.

The joy Chris misses out on when he is gone, and its only been 2 weeks, imagine all he will miss and hear about when he goes out for several months?

So yeah, life to say the least has been interesting, exhausting, stressful, busy and so much more. Is it sad that I am actually looking forward to next year when Hannah goes to school so I can work? I miss working, and yes, I know that I am insane.

Off to do many more things (like clean up the outside since we got a notice saying they will be painting our house soon even though we were told we had over a month) somehow I have to figure out how to move my patio table from the backyard to the garage by myself, what fun. I think I will wait and ask my neighbors son and his friends to move it, seems like a much better Idea doesn't it?

A little ball of sunshine

Things that are bothering me.

My dog who insists on going in and out, in and out, in and out all morning long. I need a doggy door badly because then I could maybe do something productive today instead of spending it catering to my dog.

The assholes down the street who have no kids but live on a street where most people have two or three kids. Its not that they live there, its not that they don't have kids, its that they swear, they have really late night party's with music blaring and they speed up and down the street and that their friends speed up and down the street. Oh, and they don't pick up after their dog who shits all over the place. Why cant they just realize that there is a speed limit for a reason? Its a small residential street in base housing. One day they are going to hit a kid, but they would rather be pricks and just not care.

My bank. I have issues with banks, and even though I generally love are new bank, a few days ago when they took money out four days early before the auto payment was do kinda pissed me off. I mean were talking about Chris's truck payment which isn't a small sum of money, and a few other payments (like to the cable company) If I set it up for it to come out on the 3rd of each month, please don't take it out on the 28Th. Guess I will be changing our auto payment to reflect a 4 day difference so I wont get screwed next time they decide to do that. Thank God we had money in the account to cover the early payment, but next time they decide to do that I may not be so lucky.

The weather. What the hell is up with the weather? Its still August, its Labor day weekend and its cold as hell, well low 60s and overcast. Its been this way for a few days, I want one or two more Summer like days before fall rolls around, I'm not asking for much, just something in the mid 70s would be great. Yeah, this is life on the Olympic peninsula for you. At least its pretty here.

See, I have lots of issues today.

And lastly some 21 year old girl wanting to know why my husband and I live in housing. "don't you see your throwing away your housing allowance to live there, on base? I mean my husband and I pocket 300-400 dollars a month and that's after paying utilities and we are investing, isn't it stupid not to buy? don't you want to sell a house and make money?" I wanted to smack her, more so for the stuck up way she spoke to me and her attitude. See because we are military we get a housing allowance, its not taxable and we can either live on base and basically pay rent here, but we lose the whole amount of our housing. We can live out on town renting and pay what they want or we can buy a house. As a first class with dependents we get almost 1300 a month. The rate you get depends on your rate, a third or second class would get less then us because they are lower ranking, a chief or officer would get more because they are higher ranking. So this girl, who was a third classes husband and makes Id say around 1,1oo a month for housing and has 300-400 extra after paying utilities and her house payment means that her house payment would have to be around 600 a month, which for this area seems highly unlikely unless they bought a manufactured home and are living on land mommy and daddy own. Houses around here are over 200,000 unless it needs lots of work or is in an undesirable location, or your lucky and the owners have to move and drop the price super low. When we looked mostly we found houses for 250-300 though now they are dropping, but still nothing that we would want for under 200 thousand. Plus houses here are not as big as I was used to back in GA when we did own a home. Most are smaller or around the square feet we have here in housing. Then there is the fact that most of my friends who live here and are trying to sell their houses have the problem of their house not being worth as much as they paid. One friend bought their house at 275,000 and it was priced at 235,000 when they went to sell it, its now been on the market for 7 months. I don't want to have to deal with that, the worry of not selling, Chris living in another part of the country or worse in a different country all together while I stay with the house waiting for it to sell. Its different if you plan on staying here for awhile, but we have 2 more years before we move and after Chris's job offer For Washington DC we wont stay unless that falls threw and even then we wont stay unless we have too. I like Washington, I do and if we were to stay here we would indeed buy a house. Its very pretty and theres lots to do, but Ive gotten used to moving and seeing different states, but now I'm off track here. The point is I'm happy living in housing. My 1300 square foot home (not including garage) 3 bed 2.5 bath home may be small, but I don't pay utilities, I have a fenced in back yard and a cute little courtyard, and plenty of free storage so for 2 years and maintenance to fix things like a broken fridge for free Ill stay put. As for the stuck up 21 year old who has her house, wait till she has kids and needs to move to something bigger then a 2 bedroom home and the prices jump on her. I'm mean, I know, but hey she really pissed me off, I mean what right does someone I have only met once or twice have telling me I'm stupid? Its a good thing I am to reserved to tell her what I thought.

I blame all my bitchiness today on lack of sleep, the hubby being gone (Ive slept maybe a total of 12 hours over the last 4 nights) and my period. Yeah for me, what a great day its going to be.