I hate goodbyes

I have decided while Chris is gone I will not drive the van. Not unless I have too at least. Luckily for me I live within a 5 minute walk to the gym, the pool, the bowling alley, the mini mart, the grocery store and the NEX. Also within walking distance to Jordan's school, Starbucks and subway. See, I dont have to drive, unless it rains then I might think twice about the whole walking thing, I really hate being wet. I have the bike too, and Jordan has a bike, and Hannah has a carrier (though I have no idea how to attach it to my bike) but that would be good exercise.

So starts day one of the next 15 days Chris will be gone. I hugged him this morning and didn't want to let him go, I wanted to be selfish and hang on for dear life, but I didn't. I kissed him good bye, wished him a safe trip, told him to call me when he got to Portland for his layover and waved goodbye (then I went back to bed and tried to sleep the day away, it didn't work) Things my husband will miss while he is away. Jordan's first day off school, the kids first day of swimming, and then two more days of swimming, its every Tuesday and Thursday. Oh, and Labor day, which he should have off and be here with us for a BBQ but he wont be, instead he will be working in LA. I will admit that when my husband is gone, I get jealous of women I see with their husbands. Like when I go home and Chris is out too sea and I see people Christmas shopping or out to dinner with their significant other it makes me sad and jealous. I'm horrible, I know, and yes, again I know we choose this lifestyle, we made these decisions together, but it never is easy, and I'm allowed to have those moments.

Now that Chris is gone I should clean. Really, the house needs to be organized and there is much to be put away from the non stop activity that has been going on until now, but today I think is not that day, tomorrow looks better. Today looks like a perfect day to take the ferry over to Pikes place and buy fresh produce and flowers. I love their flowers. I wont, not by myself with two kids, that's just crazy, though I have only been their on weekends, when its been nothing but craziness with crowds of people pushing past each other, but I still wont take that change by myself, I will wait for Chris to come back (and for a Sunday when we can grab brunch at the best place ever!) see, now I'm thinking.